Straight Talk TNT

Where do you stand on the f-bomb?

Aug 17, 2011

Dear Straight Talk: People in their teens and twenties are telling me that the f-word is used everywhere, on TV, in everyday life, by all ages, including parents around their young children, who then use it in school. They say it doesn’t mean anything anymore. Does the panel agree? — Terri, Santa Ana

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Chuck 17, Toledo, Ohio Ask me a question

I wouldn’t be surprised if I hear the f-word 100 times some days. I listen to rap music and attend an all-guys school, where even teachers sometimes indulge. To me the word is almost meaningless. However, I take pride in not using it myself. I owe much to my dad who has never, in his entire life, uttered a single swear word. This has given me something to shoot for, confidence that you don’t have to swear, and a way to practice self control.

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Justin 24, Redding, Calif. Ask me a question

You can give any word meaning and chose to be offended. The word “frack” is an f-word substitute. Doesn’t it have the same connotation? In today’s world, we shouldn’t give words so much power. They often mean nothing. I use the f-word all the time with no second thought.

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Katie 18, Auburn, Calif. Ask me a question

It most definitely does mean something! However, the context makes it either serious or light. Any parent wanting to instill good habits in their child will refrain from using it. Did I hear it often growing up? My grandfather was a WWII Navy veteran, so yeah. But the scolding he got showed me that if I said it, I was toast. I toss it around in age-appropriate settings, but I feel sorry for kids who aren’t told there’s something wrong with it.

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Christina 19, Marysville, Calif. Ask me a question

I think it is vulgar and distasteful. My parents seldom curse and when they do, they rarely use that word. I hear it a lot from people my age and much younger, though, and ask them to please refrain around me and my young siblings.

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Peter 24, Monterey, Calif. Ask me a question

My dad was careful to not use the f-bomb too much. If the f-bomb showed its face, something was very wrong. Between that and attending Catholic school, I never really picked up swearing — ha! until I joined the Navy! Still, unless I’ve been mortally wounded, I never use the word in public. And if my friends say it around kids, it ruffles my feathers and I speak up.

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Elise 20, Orlando, Florida Ask me a question

The f-word is used far too often, just because it can be. Personally, I see no reason for cursing. It makes you sound less educated and disrespectful.

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Shelby 19, Auburn, Calif. Ask me a question

I work with lots of parents and little kids and never hear it from either. I believe it has less meaning than it did 20 years ago, but, still, it doesn’t mean “nothing.” My friends and I use it when we are mad or when something is awesome. But we are careful not to say it around younger children or adults.

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Katelyn 16, Huntington Beach, Calif. Ask me a question

Overuse has technically made the f-word obsolete in meaning, but it still holds power, especially around young children. That’s why I never use that word.

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Lauren Ask me a question

DEAR TERRI: While the panelists prove that not “everyone” uses the word, and that it is far from meaningless (read f-“bomb”), they do concur that it is commonplace. Readers: Words are powerful. One proof is how habit-forming and infectious they are. Like any habit, it’s easy to fall into lazy language, whereas it takes work to be creative and have positive influence with your words — as any successful adult knows. The panelists testify as to how their word-habits are tied to early conditioning. Each of us is an influence. Do a favor and avoid using obscenities around those younger than you. —Lauren

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Editor’s Note: I don’t judge people for saying the f-word. If I did, I would lose the opportunity to know some amazing beings, including plenty of loved-ones. Nonetheless, I prefer not to hear it — and think it has no place in our classrooms. I encourage everyone, at all ages, to pay attention and be selective about what comes out your body. It will benefit you the same way that paying attention and being selective about what goes in your body does.

Most young people can’t grock the power of the word. The more evolved one becomes, the more it is evident. The Sufi mystic, Hazrat Inayat Khan, explains the word beautifully and accurately: “The word has a magic in it, it can turn friends into your enemies, and it can make your enemies your friends. The mystery of all success in every direction of life is in the word. The word has power to turn the mind of the listener warm or cold. The word can produce the effect of earth, water, fire, air, or ether. The word can produce depression or joy. The one who knows the chemistry of the word does not need drugs or herbs. He has medicine for every disease in the world, not only for bodily disease, but also for the disorders of the mind, which still remain unexplored by science. By a constant study of life, by special thought given to one’s word, by careful watching of the effects of one’s speech upon others, one arrives at a state of realization where one can heal hearts.”

Comments

  1. By Jennifer from Salinas, CA on 08/17/2011

    The “F” word is very common among teenagers around here.  It’s so common that it’s no big deal for kids to say it to each other.  However, I learned the hard way that you have to be very careful about saying to some adults.  My parents are divorced and my dad recently remarried.  I have to share a room with my stepsister when I go there for visitations.  The door doesn’t have a lock and my stepmom is used to walking in without knocking.  My stepsister doesn’t care, even when she’s naked, since it’s her mom.  However, I am not comfortable with this.  A few weeks ago she just barged in when I had just taken a shower and had taken off my robe and was totally naked.  This upset me and without thinking I yelled the “F” word at her.  She couldn’t understand what the big deal was since “we’re both females” and I was already naked in front of my stepsister, anyway.  My dad was furious that I yelled this at her and grounded me for the next 2 weekends I’m there.  I shouldn’t have yelled it, but I use the word so much I did it without thinking.  So it’s really not a good thing that this word has become so common with teenagers talking to each other as you may say it without thinking to an adult who is going to be offended.  That’s what I learned from my experience.

    Jennifer

  2. By Tina from Toledo, OH on 08/19/2011

    It’s starting younger and younger.  I’m 16 and admit that my friends and I use the “F” word and other cuss words among ourselves.  However, I’m careful at home since I have an 11 year old sister whom I share a room with and I didn’t think she should be exposed to this and I also tell my friends to be careful around her.  Our mom is also offended by such language. However, I found out that it was all for naught.  She had a new friend who spent the night recently and she repeatedly used the word.  Everything was “F” this and “F’ that and she used the “C” word to refer girls she doesn’t like and guys she doesn’t like are all “P’s” if you know what I mean. When I got undressed and she saw me nude she said she couldn’t wait to have “nice big tits” and hair on her “C” like I do.  And all this out of the mouth of an 11 year old!  She has older brothers and sisters where is how she probably picked this up.  Our mom has banned her from our home after hearing her gutter mouth and I do not blame her.  I still believe in avoiding such language in front of younger children, but I’m afraid they’re going to hear it all anyway.

    Tina

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