Straight Talk TNT

Dear Straight Talk: In January, I got a tattoo against my parents’ wishes. It’s on my lower back and so far they don’t know about it. I’m 16 and really feel that I should be able to do what I want with my skin. There is nothing wrong with a tattoo, it’s not like I’m on drugs or something. I’m really angry at them for always trying to control my life in all the wrong areas. It’s summer now and I want to wear a bathing suit but I’m afraid they’ll ground me all summer when they see my tattoo. That will be the end of our relationship. Any suggestions?—Going out of my skin

Dear Skin: Besides wearing a one-piece suit? Yes. Tell them. They have every right to make certain decisions until you are a legal adult. You went behind their backs and now you must deal with the consequences. Tell your parents there is something important you need to discuss and schedule a time when there are no distractions.

The teen staff has some tips for softening the blow.

From Lennon, 19: Like it or not, your parents really are in charge of you till you’re 18. Just respect them. They mean the best for you. You may think you would let your child get tattooed at 16, but you’ll have a different perspective when you’re 38.

Here’s how to tell them: Instead of being angry (which makes no sense—they should be angry at you), show them how bad you feel about disobeying. Offer to make breakfast for a month, clean their cars, pick up your grades, stop spending money, anything that will make them believe you really wanted this and are willing to pay the price. Don’t be offensive or defensive, be nice and objective.

From Farren, 18: Honestly, going against your parents’ wishes was the wrong thing to do. You may feel it is your skin, and in some ways you are right, but you are under 18, which means they still have the right to say no. Waiting would have been a better choice until you are no longer in their home under their rules.

You shouldn’t feel angry at them for wanting to control certain aspects of your life. From their perspective, you are their daughter and they want to protect you. Getting a tattoo is permanent and if you ever decide to remove it, it will be costly and painful. It’s only natural that a parent would not want you to get one at your age.

Let your parents know what you did before they find out on their own. This way, at least you are showing some responsibility and ownership. They may still want to ground you, but it will help if you let them know that you made a mistake, that you’re sorry for compromising your relationship, and that you deserve the consequences.