Dear Straight Talk: I’m 15 and my mother is always trying to control what I wear. She still goes clothes shopping with me and we get into terrible arguments. She says showing my belly button is “too suggestive.” But, everybody at school shows their belly-button and nobody thinks anything of it. It’s just the fashion. I want to look normal at school not like a nerd. How can I convince her to let me buy what I want?—Fashion Nerd
Dear Fashion Nerd: Regardless of a person’s age, the way you are clothed makes a statement about who you are. For a teenager, almost nothing is more important than such a statement. I suggest you propose a compromise to your mother. Propose that when in the company of your peers you get to wear whatever you want. And when at home or in the company of your parents, you wear what your parents find acceptable. When in the company of both peers and adults, the decision goes to whoever can claim ownership of the event. So, if it’s a school function, you dress for your peers; if it’s an office picnic or extended family get-together, you dress for your parents. Perhaps you could suggest this to your mother using Ashley’s technique, below:
From Ashley, 17: Whenever I’m in a situation where there is a lot of arguing with my mom, I write her a letter letting her know how I feel.
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