Straight Talk TNT

Prom: To ask or not to ask

Apr 08, 2009

DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: There’s this guy from another school that I want to ask to prom. Some of my girlfriends say it’s okay for the girl to ask, others say to always wait for the guy to ask. But how can he ask me when the prom is at my school? The problem is, I don’t know if he likes me and if he rejects me I’ll be so humiliated I probably won’t go at all, even though, as it stands, I could go with friends without a date. What should I do? Please respond quickly, prom is around the corner. — “Tandi”, Auburn CA

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Liva 20, Hudson, NY Ask me a question

It’s silly to ditch prom just because the guy says no. I prefer guys to ask, however, I once left a note on a guy’s car (after plotting for weeks) and was gently rejected. I ended up going with friends and had an awesome time. Senior year I also asked a guy, but he was one of my best friends and neither of us had dates. It was the perfect prom.

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Michael 17, Fair Oaks Ask me a question

A girl from a different school asked me by delivering a pizza-sized cookie with “Prom?” written across it.

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Emily 16, Sacramento, CA Ask me a question

This day and age, there are no rules. Especially since he goes to another school, ask him. If he does reject you (especially in a way that makes you give up on prom), then good, he wasn’t a nice guy to begin with. In that case, go anyway. A new relationship may start to bud.

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Diana 15, Folsom, CA Ask me a question

Waiting for guys to come through can drive us crazy! The worst that can happen is he says no and you know he wasn’t as worthwhile as you thought.

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Rachel 17, Fair Oaks, CA Ask me a question

This isn’t the olden days! A girl has the same right to ask as the guy! But don’t feel dependent on a date. If he turns out to be a jerk, take a friend. Prom is meant to be fun, so make it fun!

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Lauren Ask me a question

DEAR “TANDI”: Ouch, I hear some male bashing. A ‘no’ answer doesn’t make a guy “not nice”, “unworthy” or a “jerk”. He’s just not feeling it. It’s fair game to ask a guy out, but it’s not fair to bash him or blame him for your misery if he says no. Keep reading for a male perspective.

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Lennon 22, Fair Oaks, CA Ask me a question

Does he even know you like him? Girls are so flirty these days a guy can’t tell if a girl genuinely likes him or if she’s just flirting for the sake of flirting. Girls control the dating world this way, so they might as well be the ones asking. But if you want him to ask you, think of an obvious hint, then triple its obviousness.

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Jack 1 17, Auburn, CA Ask me a question

If there’s no chemistry and you are just hoping, you should be okay with a ‘no’ because you are crossing the line with assumptions. Nobody, male or female, should have high expectations without mutual chemistry. Since this guy is from another school, you have little to lose in asking, but if he’s at your own school, lack of chemistry will make it awkward and guys might joke about it.

Most of the time, if a guy likes a girl, he will ask her. But if a guy and girl have energy between them, and the guy doesn’t man-up and ask, then it’s okay for the girl to ask. But wait until it’s down to the wire because he might have an interesting way he’s planning to ask you. A friend took his hoped-for date on a run by the river where he had written in chalk “Prom?” in huge letters on a slab of concrete.

Comments

  1. By Ashley, 21 from Auburn, CA on 08/17/2009

    It sounds like you need to weigh your options here. I know rejection is really hard to deal with, but at the same time if you don’t ask you may never know. If you don’t ask him and you go with all of your friends who bring dates are you still going to have a good time or will you regret not asking him? If you ask him you don’t have too much to lose either, you go or you don’t. There is no way he will ask you because it’s not his school. So I think you need to ask him. That is the only way you can make it happen.

  2. By Hannah, 17 from Auburn, CA on 08/17/2009

    Oooh boy!!! I was seriously thinking this same thing!! And my friend is going through the same thing right now! She’s wondering if it’s okay when in my opinion it totally is!!! I asked a boy from a different school and I’m going to have so much more fun then if I only had the boys at my school to choose from. So in my opinion, don’t worry what others say, ask him…you’ll feel so much better when you do! and your prom experience will improve… trust me!

  3. By Graham, 15 from Fair Oaks, CA on 08/17/2009

    Of course you should ask him! How’d he going to know otherwise? Don’t be shy, I’m sure he’d love the invitation.

  4. By Jack, 18 from Fair Oaks, CA on 08/17/2009

    Ask him. If you don’t ask him you’re going to go to the dance and all your friends will have dates and you will be stuck there dateless wondering if he would have said yes or no. The worst thing that could possibly happen is that he says no. Since, as you pointed out, he isn’t going to ask you to dance at your own school, I say just go ahead and ask. If it was a boy at her own school I’d say wait a little longer but still if its nearing the end and he hasn’t asked her i still think its completely ok for a girl to ask a guy.

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