DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: I don’t like my stepsister and have to share a room with her when she stays with us. I was so mad at her I secretly took a picture of her when she was naked. It seemed funny at the time even though I knew it was wrong. I sent it to my boyfriend because he doesn’t like her either, even though he thinks she has a “hot body.” I thought it would be a joke just between us, however, he sent it to some of his friends. Luckily, she goes to a different school so nobody has recognized her, but I’m scared that someone will. I’d give anything to take back what I did. What should I do? Keep quiet and hope she never finds out, or confess? — Stepsister in Sacramento
Editor’s Note: I don’t normally vote for people hiding what they did wrong, but there is a saying: “He who tells the truth must have one foot in the stirrup.” Not only will a confession damage the relationship between the stepsisters, there is nowhere for “Stepsister in Sacramento” to ride off to. On the other hand, by shutting up and allowing luck or grace to have some time with the situation, it likely won’t become an issue at all. Of course, if grace fails, one must be ready to offer one’s head in true remorse. My hope is that there will be a time in the future when confessing this truth will bring hearts together rather than tearing them asunder. Which brings up a different quote about truth by Mel Brooks: “Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.” —Lauren
Comments
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What a horrible thing to do to somebody! No matter how mad you were or what she might have done to cause you to do this, there is no excuse for what you did. Even if you don’t get along, your stepsister must trust you enough to be nude with you in the room and you seriously violated her trust. And to pass it on to your boyfriend! This is a good example of the bibilical saying: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” Would you want her to do this to you if she was mad at you? I think the answer is obvious.
My sister and I share a room and often fight and argue and are sometimes at each other’s throats. However, we’re still sisters, so we aren’t shy about nudity in front of each other, but I would never do something like this to her and I trust that she would not do it to me no matter how mad we might be. Like most kids these days, we both have camera cell phones and spend lots of time texting, so it would be very easy for one of us to secretly take a picture of the other one nude, but the thought of doing so has never even entered my mind. However, it does make me realize that you have to really be careful these days. I’ve heard stories of girls taking pictures of other girls naked in the locker room for their boyfriends, so this is not unique, but it it is wrong and anybody who does it at school should be expelled.
Having said my piece, I think you should keep quiet and pray to God that your stepsister never finds out about this. Think how humiliated you would feel if she did it to you! Therefore, confessing would make things worse. However, you are clearly obligated to make your boyfriend delete the picture and have everyone else he sent it to do the same. Hopefully, that will put an end to it, but there is no guarantee. The guys he sent it to could have sent it to others who sent it to others and on and on and there could be no way to put an end to it. Next time think about the consequences before you do something like this!
Claire
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Unlike Stepsister and many other stepsisters who have written recently, my stepsister and I have become good friends. I actually enjoy her biweekly visits when she shares my room. (We also share a bed, but I don’t need to go into that issue.) Anyway, we aren’t shy about nudity with each other which makes things easier when you’re sharing a room, and one time when I took my robe off after taking a shower she held up her cell phone like she was going to take a picture and said “Smile.” We joke around alot so I thought she was just joking and I did a sexy nude pose, but she actually took a picture and thought it was funny! I demanded that she immediately delete it and she did and said she was just joking around and thought I could take a joke and would have deleted it anyway. She apologized and I accepted her apology, but it still upset me that she would do this and I realized how easy it would be to do this to somebody. I mean everybody has cell phones at girls’ sleepovers and slumber parties and most girls are casual about undressing in front of each other and many girls also have their phones with them in the locker room. I’m not shy about undressing in front of other girls, but I now am very wary about making sure that nobody’s taking any pictures when I’m nude in front of other girls. It is very wrong to do this and as others point out it may even be illegal.
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As much as I dislike my stepsister and hate having to share my room with her when she stays with us, I would never do something like this to her. It would be very easy as I’m on my cell phone all the time and she doesn’t pay any attention to what I’m doing when she’s undressing so it would be very easy to secretly take a picture of her nude. I never even thought about it, but she could easily do the same to me although I really don’t think she would but I’m at least going to start taking note of her when I’m undressed.
I agree that you should do everything you possibly can to rectify the situation, but don’t tell her. If my stepsister or anybody else did this to me I would literally want to kill her. I don’t think I would really do it, but I sure would feel like it, and it would totally destroy the fragile relationship we already have forever and I don’t think I could ever even speak to her again and if I did it to her I wouldn’t blame her if she felt the same way.
S.J.
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I actually had a so called “friend” offer me $50.00 to take a nude picture of my twin sister since he knows we share a room and he thinks she’s “hot.” It was all I could do to keep myself from punching him in the face as hard as I could, and he is no longer my friend and I no longer speak to him. I could easily do it, since she’s very casual about being nude in front of me in the bedroom. But I would NEVER do that to my sister. Even though she could care less, it makes me very uncomfortable to see her nude like other brothers who wrote in response to this issue in Straight Talk a few months ago. I try to do my best not to look at her when she’s nude, but it’s impossible to totally avoid it when we’re sharing a room and she’s so casual.
I think it is very, very wrong to do this to your sister or stepsister whether you’re the same sex or the opposite sex. I really can’t think of anything much lower than this, and it’s not even something to joke about.
Steve
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I agree that you should never do something like this even as a joke as it isn’t the least bit funny, and I speak from experience. We only have one bathroom so my sister and I have to share it during the “morning rush” when we need to get ready at the same time. Like most people, I prefer to use the bathroom in private, but since we’re sisters who share a room, it’s no big deal and I’m used to it. One time she took her cell phone and actually started taking a video of me on the toilet if you can believe that and thought it was really funny! I was obviously in a position where I couldn’t stop her, but I got really mad and yelled at her which she found even funnier and kept the video going. She said she was going to send it to all the guys I know! She agreed to delete it and said it was only a joke, but only after playing it a few times and laughing at the part when I was yelling at her. She hasn’t done it again, but it still makes me nervous to share the bathroom with her when I’m on the toilet or being naked in front of her in our room even though it never bothered me before. Once someone breaches your privacy and trust like this, it’s hard to ever trust them again which is sad when you’re sisters.
Amy
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This is totally inexcusable. When you’re sharing a room and undressing in front of somebody, you have to be able to trust that your privacy will not be grossly invaded like this. My stepsisters make no secret that they resent having to share their room with me when I’m there on visitations and do lots of things to be mean to me and make things difficult for me. However, we’re still all girls and are the same, so we don’t have a problem undressing in front of each other and seeing each other naked. I would love to get even with them for everything they’ve done to me, but I would never do something like this. And as mean as they are to me, I’m not worried that they would do it to me. I’ve always felt that there was an unspoken trust among girls that you don’t invade each other like this even if you don’t like each other. I have a friend whose boyfriend wanted her to try to take pictures of other girls naked in the girls’ locker room and showers with her cell phone because he said that seeing inside the girls’ locker room had always been one of his favorite fantasies. She refused and he dropped her, but I say good ridance to anybody who would ask you to do something like that.
Mandy M.
