DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: My twin sister and I are very interested in joining the military when we graduate from high school in June. The recruiter said we can be together during training and service which is important as we are close. Our parents are opposed and want us to go to college first. They say that females as well as males are sent to war and killed. But where would this country be if nobody risked their life? We put up a military poster in our room that the recruiter gave us and Mom tore it down and threw it in the trash. This really made us mad. Are we wrong to want to serve our country? — Debbie
Editor’s Web Note: I am an advocate of mandatory national service with non-military options (see our column of Dec. 31, 2008). I know several young people, including some on this panel, who have dual citizenship in Europe. When they turn 18, they readily return to put in their service. Most young adults are eager to learn new skills, get in shape, and contribute to something larger. Take these twins, for example. If there were more non-military programs in place with equally sexy recruitment efforts as put forth by the military, the lives of young adults and the state of our country would be improved — and parents wouldn’t feel like ripping down the posters. —Lauren
Comments
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No. You are not wrong for wanting to serve your country. Your parents are simply afraid of losing you. Please understand that just because you have chosen a different career path than most people, it’s not weird, crazy, or a terrible decision. I totally support you in this because my own family has a long military history, and I hope the best for you. Just to remind you, there are military colleges that let you get other degrees besides just becoming a soldier, so if/when you decide to retire – or at least take a break – you will have something to back you up. Hope that helps.
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You are not wrong to serve your country. Once you are 18, you are free to make your own decisions and if joining the military is something you wish to do, do it. My brother is in the army, and when he told my parents he was enlisting they flipped out. A few weeks later, he came home and told us he had enlisted. At that point, my parents realized it was probably a good thing, but they were still worried. Your parents sound like they are just concerned about you and your sister, so let them know that you understand the dangers.
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Personally, I don’t understand the desire to join the military but I am thankful that some people have it. We need people to serve our country and if we don’t have people that want to, then a draft comes into play and that never goes over so well. It is ultimately your decision and you should do what makes you happy and your parents will come around eventually. Maybe they would be more open to it if you went into an academy first and got your schooling done and then can serve as an officer when you get out of school, or if you did and ROTC program where you get school paid for if you serve after your schooling is over.
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Debbie, I’m so glad that there’s people like you who want to serve your country. I support you 100%! The army can be tough, but if you say the sacrifice is worth it, then don’t let anything stop you. Be wary of what recruiters say though. I’m not so sure you two will always be together through both training and service. But I’m very proud of you, and hope the best.
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When it comes down to it, the decision is up to the both of you. Do not let others, whether they be parents or friends, influence your decision. Try letting your parents know that you do plan to go to college and that it will be completely paid for when you return. They love you and are only concerned for your safety. Serving our country is admirable and honorable.
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Dear Debbie:
DON’T DO IT! YOU WILL BE SORRY! Recruiters are under heavy pressure to sign up recruits and they lie and will tell you anything to get you. They make it sound really glamorous and patriotic and it’s all a lie. My older sister and her best friend enlisted because the recruiter told them they could stay together if they enlisted together and it was all a lie. They didn’t even go to basic training together. My sister’s in Afghanistan and it’s horrible and she’s in fear for her life 24 hours a day. The living conditions are horrible with no privacy whatsoever. There isn’t even privacy in the bathroom if you’re lucky enough to be somewhere that has a bathroom and often you’re not and just have to make due. Are you ready for that? But that’s not the worst of it when your life is always in danger.
When my sister left I told her that I was glad she was leaving because we weren’t getting along and it meant that I would finally get to have my own room after always sharing a room with her. Now I feel really guilty for saying that because I realize that I really love her. I would now give anything to be sharing a room with her again and have her safe and sound. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to her in an unjust and immoral war and worry about her day and night and her empty bed makes me want to cry.
I therefore must respectfully disagree with most of the others. I agree with your parents and think your mom was right in tearing down the poster in your room and trashing it.
DON’T DO IT!
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As a former personnel officer, I spent a fair amout of time explaining to husband-and-wife military couples that “the military will TRY to keep you stationed together, but the needs of the military come first.” If the girls have different abilities or strengths, or elect different specialties, they could be separated right after basic training. Also, the branch and specialties they want will have a huge bearing on how close to combat they may come. I had a great experience in the military, but it’s not for everyone. Finally, the thought of you serving together is even more terrifying for your mom than if you were split up—she could lose both of you on the same day. Remember “Saving Private Ryan?” I would try a year or two of college first, and see who you both are as individuals, then revisit the topic.
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Regarding parents afraid to let HS Grad join the US Service. Research all the branches. There are many jobs available. Benefits: travel,new friends, responsibility, education, respect for country and college. I joined WAC at age 18 in 1957 to get away from my small town in OH. I maintain friends from my two years service. I used the GI bill for college. I got to see the USA and I now have traveled to 49 US states. Because I was so shy my time in the Army helped me to become a more out going person. I was a
virgin going in I was a virgin when my time was over. I am registered at the Women’s Memorial in DC because I am proud to have served my country.Norma F.(Wiles)Thomas-Herr
