Dear Straight Talk: I’m a graduating senior and maybe this will save somebody the agony I went through. In your advice last week you said: “Do what you’re good at. Embrace your strengths and you’ll find your fortune. Do the same when you look in the mirror. Zoom in on your best features.”
In my freshman year, mirrors were not my friend. I would fixate on my profile—what I considered my worst feature—and would literally say to myself, “Dude, you are hideous.” I honestly didn’t think I’d ever be in a relationship. Nobody could possibly love someone this ugly. I felt so bad my grades plummeted and I withdrew from sports and social activities.
Oddly, my hair turned things around. It had become super curly and it was like: okay, hair, I give up, do whatever you want. It was like a trigger for saying to heck with my looks and going back to doing the things I loved. I also decided to wear clothes that fit better. To my amazement people began saying, “You look good today.” Instead of mentally disagreeing, I went to the mirror and looked, objectively, for what they saw. After a year of forcing myself to concentrate on my best features, it became a way of life. The crazy thing is, now I’m considered this totally good-looking guy! If it worked for me, it can work for anybody.—Folsom, CA
Dear Folsom: What a great story. It is said that the only real freedom we have is the freedom to decide where to focus our attention. A switch in your focus made the difference between heaven and hell.
In Mary Schmich’s famous advice for graduates, “Wear Sunscreen,” she says: “Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.” She’s right. But what kids don’t realize is that anyone can look like a model if a dozen top-shelf professionals make you their morning project.
Jamie Lee Curtis, looking fabulous in the movies, “True Lies” and “Perfect,” bared this truth as part of a self-esteem promotion. She had herself photographed in work-out bra and shorts (picture chunky mother-of-two next to you in the grocery line). Then, 13 professionals worked on her for three hours. Only after every detail was attended to was she captured—in carefully-selected, torso-slimming black dress—in the perfect light and angle. The transformation is mind-boggling!
She did this to show you that “magazine beauty” is an illusion. In the real world, nothing makes you more attractive than the sparkle you exude when you’re doing what you love. When you add clothes and grooming to enhance your best features, who knows what could happen?
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