DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: One of my friends is considering breast implants for her sixteenth birthday. She complains that she is a size B (like most in our class), and wants to be a size C or D. She looks completely fine! I’m wondering if she has self-esteem problems, but everyone insists that it’s just like makeup or hair-straightening. Are breast implants really acceptable for ‘just because’ situations like this? — Curious in Huntington Beach, Calif.
Editor’s Note: Welcome to Wonderland, where to be normal you have to be insane. Moms still lead the charge in vanity breast implants, but popularity is rising for teens (although the recession slowed things down). Data from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons for 18- and 19-year-olds showed that 9,000 had breast enhancements in 2008. That was down 14 percent from the previous year, but up 388 percent from 1998. For girls under 18, the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery reported that 4,100 had breast enhancements in 2008, down 48 percent from 2007, but up 343 percent from 1998.
Seven separate studies have connected breast implants to increased suicides. One of them, a Swedish and U.S. long-term study released in 2007, found no notable increase in the first ten years after surgery, but 10-19 years after surgery, the risk for suicide was 4.5 times higher, and after 20 years, it was six times higher than expected suicide rates. The same study found a tripled risk of death from drug and alcohol use for those with implants. The breast implants themselves don’t cause the higher rates of suicide. The hypothesis is that women with an inclination toward psychological problems are more likely to have the surgery.
There’s no quick fix for feeling better about yourself. For anyone considering breast implants for vanity reasons (as opposed to reconstructive or medical reasons), I encourage you to work on yourself instead. Self-love takes time and dedication. A spiritual teacher or counselor can encourage and deepen the process. —Lauren
Comments
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While many guys (including me) may like to oogle at girls with large breasts, for most of us it’s not a factor in who we want to date and have a relationship with. A few guys may go after a girl because they want to brag about being seen with “the girl with big boobs,” but everybody just thinks they’re jerks and are not impressed. However, many girls seem to think it’s of major importance to guys. My twin sister and I are 16 and share a room. We’re comfortable about nudity in front of each other (and it doesn’t cause sexual stimulation like some brothers who wrote in response to another column when that was the issue), so I see her breasts every day and there is nothing wrong with them. I’d say they are about average size. However, she’s paranoid that they’re too small and since our mom won’t let her get a “boob job” she stuffs her bra every day. It makes her look bigger there, but it doesn’t even look natural and does not make her more attractive. I’ve tried to tell her this, but she won’t listen. I much prefer girls who are natural and accept their bodies as they are and the same is true for most guys I know.
Jack
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I wanted to get a boob job last year, but my mom would have to consent since I’m under age and wouldn’t. I was really mad at her at the time, but now I’m glad. I have to share a room with my stepsister when I’m at my dad’s. She has big boobs and mine are very small. She would make fun of how small mine are when I was nude and would go out of her way to expose her breasts in front of me to prove that she was “better” than me. She even said that I could go outside without a top like like guys sometimes do in hot weather since I didn’t have anything “up there.” It got to where I had to try to keep my top covered all the time which isn’t easy when you’re sharing a room and shouldn’t be necessary when you’re both girls. However, I met and started dating a really nice guy who couldn’t care less about the size of my breasts. He likes me for who I am, and I realized that this is true of anyone worth having a relationship with. I decided that I didn’t care what my stepsister thought I started just ignoring her and stopped worrying about covering up and avoiding her seeing me naked. After a while, she saw that it didn’t upset me any more and she stopped with the cruel teasing.
C.H.
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My sister and I are somewhat small busted, but we’re comfortable with our bodies and have no desire to have our breasts enlarged. We’ve found that most guys who are worth knowing do not make this a major consideration in a girl. But guess who did get a boob job recently? Our mom who is over 40! Our dad left her for a younger, big busted slut, so she decided that this is the way to get a new man. Frankly, we think that losing about 50 pounds would do her much more good and her bigger bust just makes her look stupid. However, she’s incredibly proud of her new boobs and constantly brags about them. She brags about it to our friends and asks them what they think and they feel forced to tell her it looks great even though we can see them rolling their eyes, and it’s a total embarrassment to us. The other day when her sister and a friend of hers were over, she actually took off her top and bra and made them look at them in the flesh to show how great they were. It didn’t seem to bother her sister which is understandable since they’re sisters, but her friend was visibly embarrassed although Mom didn’t seem to notice. The other day we didn’t realize she was home yet and she overheard us in our room talking about how stupid and embarrassing we find her behavior about this and got very hurt and upset. We just wish she would act her age and stop making this the center of her life as it has become.
Lori
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2 years ago when I was 15 I wanted to get surgery because one of my boobs was noticeably bigger than the other one and I felt like a deformed freak as I had never seen another girl whose boobs didn’t match. I got totally paranoid about it and was afraid to have anybody see me naked but my sister who I’m close to and share a room with, my mom, and one very close friend. I avoided sleepovers and slumber parties and was afraid to take showers after gym class but was able to hide my condition by padding my bra. My mom took me to the doctor and she said that I was too young to have surgery because my breasts were still developing and that in most cases the problem corrects itself in time, but I could have surgery later if they were still different sizes after I had completely developed. She was right. My breasts are now exactly the same size, so all the worry was over nothing. I also realize that all my worry about what others would think was for nothing and that other girls probably wouldn’t have put me down if they had seen them when they weren’t the same size. I mean, many girls have bodies that aren’t perfect when you see them naked and nobody ever says anything. Our doctor said that nobody should even consider surgery until they have completely developed and that any ethical surgeon will not perform breast enhancement surgery on someone so young who has not finished developing.
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Having big breasts isn’t as great as many girls think. My breasts started developing early, when I was about 12, and have always been much bigger than average. However, as others have written, guys who are worth knowing don’t judge a girl by the size of her breasts, but I constantly have to put up with guys who are jerks staring at me there, whisting and even “mooing” and teasing me and making crude comments. Many girls also resent me because of this. Except for my sister who I share a room with and who is also big busted and my best friend, I do my best to keep my breasts covered when I have to undress in front of other girls or I get accused of “showing off.” I only take showers after gym class in the very hot weather when there isn’t much choice as you can’t very well hide your breasts in a communal shower. Anyone considering a “boob job” needs to know that having big boobs is no picnic.
Melanie
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I used to be one of those jerks that Melanie writes about who stare, tease and make crude comments to girls who have large breasts. Then it started happening to my little sister, and I saw it from a totally different perspective. We share a room and since I’m her big brother whom she trusts, she isn’t shy about me seeing her naked. I couldn’t help but notice her breasts getting very large, but since she’s my little sister, I don’t get sexual feelings about her and didn’t look at her breasts the way I did other girls’ breasts. When she told me that guys were treating her the way Melanie writes about and how much it hurt, I was furious and wanted to go punch them out. Then I realized I was doing exactly the same thing to other girls and that most of them must be somebody’s sister. I’m now very ashamed of what I did and have totally stopped. I’ve also stopped calling them “boobs” and “tits” like I used to as I realize that it is very disrespectful, and referring to any girl’s breasts that way not only disrespects them, but also disrespects my sister.
I would like to ask the guys who do this to girls with large breasts (and there are many) to ask yourself how would you like somebody to do this to your sister? If you would want to punch them out like most brothers would, then don’t do it to somebody else’s sister (or to any girl)!
Tom
