Straight Talk TNT

Girl with abduction fears wants help feeling safe

Sep 09, 2009

DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: The abduction and rape of Jaycee Dugard has me terrified when I drive home late after work. How I can feel safe? Even during broad daylight, how do you tell a rapist from a sweet person who needs help? My friends and I all have the creeps. — 17, Santa Rosa, CA

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Peter 22, Monterey, CA Ask me a question

Always err on the side of caution. Don’t help someone unless you’re 100 percent sure it’s safe. Stay aware of your surroundings, glance over your shoulder.

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Nicole 20, Arcata, CA Ask me a question

I always carry pepper spray on my keychain. It’s great for walking to your car. It’s simple to use and sprays about eight feet.

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Shelby 17, Auburn, CA Ask me a question

If you’re on back roads and a car approaches with flashing lights, drive to a public setting before pulling over.

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Molly 17, Fair Oaks, CA Ask me a question

Our media make the world seem much more vicious than it is. Much of your fear is irrational.

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Maureen 17, Redding, CA Ask me a question

Don’t be paranoid, but don’t be naive either. Scout your car before getting in, be hesitant if a big van is parked by it, don’t sit in your car with the doors unlocked, don’t roll down your windows for strangers. If attacked, deliver a strong groin kick or nose punch.

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Ashley 22, Auburn, CA Ask me a question

Attackers want easy targets, so kick, scream, and fight for your life! Trust a bad gut feeling.

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Lauren Ask me a question

DEAR SANTA ROSA: Most abductions do take place in parking lots and I will repeat the panel’s excellent prevention advice: Be aware of your surroundings, carry pepper spray or Mace, walk escorted to your car, scout it before getting in, don’t linger in a parked car, don’t pull over for flashing lights unless in a public setting, if someone needs help, keep distance and call 911 for them.

If you get attacked anyway? Then, Ashley is right. You must “kick, scream and fight for your life.” My martial arts instructor, Professor Dan Lovas of Auburn Martial Arts Center, says, “There’s only one thing you need to remember and that’s _CAUSE PAIN._”

Abductors do not want hassle. Simple actions that will cause pain even by small, untrained persons: groin strikes, side-kicking the knee, punching the nose, spear-handing the throat or eyes, prying apart a single finger and snapping it backwards, titty-twisting the inner thigh or just below the armpit, elbowing anywhere, hitting with a hard object.

If they have a gun? According to Professor Lovas, most abductors won’t fire it. It is a prop to take you somewhere private without struggle. So, always run. If they’re holding you, cause pain, then run. In the almost non-existent scenario that they do shoot, Lovas says that 70 percent of handgun experts miss a zig-zagging close-range target. Of the 30 percent that hit it, only 5 percent are fatal shots. Ignore the gun and your survival is 95 percent. Obey the gun, it’s basically zero.

A knife? Same thing. Run. Almost never will an abductor throw it at you, says Lovas. If you are trapped or held, he says, “Treat the knife like the head of a venomous snake, reaching behind it to control the arm, while simultaneously causing pain elsewhere. Then run.”

Sadly, most victims neither fight nor run. Lovas says they lack a mental construction for dealing with this kind of shock and they freeze.

If you cannot mentally picture yourself causing pain in order to save your life, consider studying martial arts. Lovas began training in sixth grade, because at 65 pounds, he was bullied regularly. “It was interesting,” he said, “once I had the skills to defend myself, I stopped having to because the way I felt about myself showed on the outside and people stopped targeting me. The ultimate defense is to be a happy, strong, confident human being.”

Picture of Lauren Forcella

Editor’s Web Note: In today’s column, I’m happy to share what was for me, revolutionary information regarding handguns, that I received from my martial arts instructor, Professor Lovas. He gives a very simple approach to self-defense while dispelling the handgun myth instilled by Hollywood. —Lauren

Comments

  1. By Lennon, 22, panelist from Fair Oaks, CA on 09/09/2009

    I understand it can be a legitimate concern, but constantly living in fear of getting kidnapped or raped is ridiculous. I mean, car accidents are much more frequently, but do you worry about getting in an accident every time you go out for a drive? Of course not; it’d be ludicrous to be living in a constant state of fear.

  2. By Rachel, 18, panelist from Fair Oaks, CA on 09/09/2009

    It’s a matter of being smart. If you can have someone walk you to your car at night that’s always a good idea. But even in broad day light, being that you’re a 17 year old girl, you shouldn’t be going up to strangers, especially men, if there’s no one else around you. Just be smart, but don’t be paranoid or else you’ll go crazy!

  3. By Katelyn, 14, panelist from Huntington Beach, CA on 09/09/2009

    One: Try NOT to drive home alone. Carpooling with a friend or coworker will give you more confidence and keep you both safer. If you do happen to be a target of kidnapping, here’s the sequence I learned from a self-defense manual: step on his foot, twist away from his grip, kick him in the groin, and RUN SCREAMING FOR HELP. Try to get a general description of him, too, although I’m pretty sure you probably won’t. Some other tips include: carrying your car keys in a way that would allow you to poke your attacker with them, always be on the look-out for suspicious behavior (such as they’ve been tailing your car for at least 5 minutes), stand farther than they can reach you if you’re talking to someone in the car, and do your best to travel in pairs. Martial arts is a great defense system.

  4. By Graham, 15, panelist from Fair Oaks, CA on 09/09/2009

    Some people carry weapons but that’s not advisable, as more people are injured than protected by their weapons every year. My best suggestion would be a can of Mace, and a bit of common sense. If you’re 17, you’re most likely not going to fall for the candy trick.

  5. By Brie, 18, panelist from Ashland, OR on 09/09/2009

    My advice is to stay away from people you don’t know. I mean, if someone is having a heart attack, yes, please help them but usually you should be able to keep your distance. At night, be aware of what is around you. Park under or near a street light and as you are walking up to your car take a look around it and make sure there is no one inside it. Also, it is a good idea to “palm” your keys so that if someone did attack you you could inflict lots of damage by hitting them. Another thing I do to keep safe because I also am out extremely late sometimes, is call or text someone and let them know that I am leaving the location I am at and that I should be home in X minutes and if I don’t call or text them that they should alert authorities. Sometimes I also talk to my answering machine because then it appears that you are on the phone with someone.

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