Straight Talk TNT

Dear Straight Talk: I’m 16 and I went to my first high school dance a few weeks ago. I’m popular and a good dancer, but what I saw at the dance really bothered me. I thought, “Wow, where does it go from here?” I danced with my friends around the edges, but in the “middle” the level of dirty dancing was……well, I’d be embarrassed to describe it. It was basically teens having sex with their clothes on. I’m wondering why the schools allow this? It’s like being in a sex club.—Looking for clean fun

Dear Looking for clean fun: I don’t know where it is going either but the excesses of ancient Rome come to mind. I don’t think too many parents realize what goes on in these darkened gymnasiums during school dances. As this is a family newspaper, I’ve toned down the X-rated descriptions from the teen staff that verify what you are saying. I’m going to let the teens speak and I do expect mail.

From Farren, 17: It’s called “freak dancing”, “dirty dancing”, “freaking with each other”. It’s been going on, I would guess, since the early 90s. I’m a senior and it’s all I’ve ever known. It’s definitely sex with your clothes on.

Personally, I’m not into public intimacy, but a lot of kids are. At my school, I’d say 8 to 10% of the kids are into really heavy freaking, girls in mini skirts and thong underwear dancing while holding their ankles or grinding on the boys’ thighs. It’s a total grope-fest. Girls freak with girls, girls freak with boys, or two girls will freak with one guy.

It’s kind of sick, but these aren’t bad kids, they’re not even drunk necessarily. I think they’re just confidant about their sexuality. To them, it’s just dancing. I’ve heard of actual sex taking place, but not at my school.

Most kids, probably 60%, freak a little, but not extremely, and the remaining 30% stay on the edges and either don’t dance or dance the way people used to dance.

I don’t think anyone knows what to do about it. The teachers and principal know it’s happening. It’s not hidden. But what are they going to do? There are 900 kids there with one principal, one cop, and four teachers. They are looking out for safety and violence, not the sex stuff.

From Jenna, 16: It’s the same at my high school and I don’t like it either. The school bulletins say that dirty dancing is restricted but nothing is ever done. I stay on the edges. I like normal dancing, not dancing with my butt up in the air. I’ve seen it get worse and worse since I’ve been here. It seems the kids in the middle are younger and younger all the time and the dancing dirtier and dirtier. The principal and chaperones walk around the outside, but they don’t go in the middle.

I’d say at least half the kids are drinking. It’s easy to play sober at the check point and to sneak liquor in. I think everyone’s losing respect for themselves and for the authority of the school. It’s like there are no boundaries.

I think the media is to blame. Plus so many guys look at porn now. It’s everywhere. It’s considered cool to look at porn.—Jenna, 16

From Lennon, 18: I’m a very involved senior at a private, non-sectarian high school and nothing like this ever goes on at our dances. Some kids drink before they arrive, but that’s about it. Unfortunately, without the influence of alcohol, I think the dances would be a flop. A lot of kids are quite inhibited without it. It’s possible that alcohol is smuggled in but I’ve never been aware of it. But, do we freak dance? I didn’t even know what it meant!