Dear Straight Talk: I don’t like being fat, but I’m fat. I’m a junior in high school and I’ve never had a boyfriend. At this point I feel like I never will. My dad and stepmother are so proud of their precious thin daughter who is a freshman and already more popular than I. All my friends are thin, too. Sometimes I hate them all for it. They have no idea what it’s like to never have a guy even look at you. Some days I feel like locking myself in my bedroom with three pounds of chocolate cake and never coming out.—Hopelessly fat
Dear Hopeless: The fact that you wrote tells me there is hope. The chocolate cake tells me you may have an eating addiction. Addictions stem from emotional injuries. “Bandages” in the form of drugs, alcohol, food, sex, etc., are used over and over to protect the person from having to feel the wound. As opposed to other types of addicts, the food addict is further wounded by society for being fat.
I can’t say how important it is to address this problem from the inside out. The reason diets and exercise programs fail is because the wound is ignored. But when diet and exercise are combined with inner work, lasting change can occur.
I recommend you consider joining Overeaters Anonymous, the 12-step program for eating addictions. Visit www.overeatersanonymous.org for meetings in your area—they’re free.
The teen staff also senses an underlying problem:
From Ashley, 16: It sounds like you have emotional problems—so you eat and get a weight problem. See if your parents can help you find a counselor so you can start feeling better about yourself.
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