Dear Straight Talk: Regarding your recent columns on MySpace, I would like to offer my opinion. I have been pressured to join MySpace and Facebook, but I don’t care to sit in front of a computer communicating with people I may or may not know. I use email to communicate with colleagues and people that I love, and I find email interactions to be completely different because both parties are accountable for their communication and the communication actively maintains these relationships. With MySpace and Facebook, on the other hand, anyone can view your page and talk to you even if you are not interested—and the interaction takes the social dimension to a place where there are no second opinions. For instance, in a conversation, opposing opinions and feelings are expressed that impact the path the communication travels down. On MySpace and Facebook there is not always the genuine emotion and thread of accountability that helps children and teenagers learn how to communicate cooperatively with others, or even how to behave socially. Especially with young people, gossip, miscommunications, and destructive comments are rampant and create tough social situations at school and other places.—C.L., 20, Antioch College
Dear C.L.: I understand what you are saying. The drug dealers, pedophiles, and adult “spies,” are few and far between; the biggest danger on MySpace is apparently coming from the kid in algebra class. Several high-profile cases of cyber-bullying have revealed how rampant it is among young people and how deep the wounds go in those that are attacked. For every high-profile case, there are thousands you never hear about.
“The pen is mightier than the sword.” These famous words of English novelist, Edward Lytton (1803-1873), encouraged the constructive power of words over the destructive power of the sword. But words slashed across cyberspace (sometimes anonymously, and always justified on the grounds of free speech), that are intentionally designed to harm another can make the encounter resemble a virtual dark alley where people are emotionally slain without accountability. There is nothing mighty about this.
The mechanical nature of the medium definitely emboldens normally decent people to behave badly. Your rejection of MySpace and Facebook in favor of good old-fashioned email is become more and more popular.
Readers, here are some other ways to prevent cyber-bullying and what you can do about it if it is occurring:
From Shelby, 15: I have had some really big fights on MySpace, mostly over negative comments. The thing to remember is that if somebody is being aggressive with you and you respond aggressively, you are adding to the fight by your response. The comments that lead to this kind of fight are ridiculous and should be ignored. Simply delete the comment after you read it, or partially read it, and adjust your settings so that when someone posts a comment you have to approve it before it is displayed publicly on your page.
From Kendal, 20: A group of people I knew created a hate group against a girl they didn’t like. I’ll admit, I didn’t like this girl either, but I was enraged by even the idea of this group. It wasn’t a friendly joke like a lot of the “pseudo” hate groups on MySpace, it was a serious group of people with a deep dislike for someone. They absolutely bashed this girl, and set it up so she could see what they were saying. I posted to the group about how immature I felt that it was. When others approached me defending the group, I told them that disliking someone is one thing, but creating a heated mob mentality against someone crosses a line. Instead of rising above this girl’s immaturity, they stooped way below in retaliation. How can anyone seriously defend the idea of a hate group? They do nothing except poison the soul for all involved. I reported the hate group to MySpace under “inappropriate content” and it was taken care of.
——-
