Dear Straight Talk: I am writing because my son, “Jason”, is addicted to video games. His latest fixation is Halo 2. Nothing his mother and I say can pull him away from it. He plays it constantly from the time he gets home from school until late at night. He does his chores begrudgingly, rushes through his homework and beyond that, won’t do anything else without a fight. He’s 14 and I don’t know what happened to the boy he used to be. He has no interest in anything else. I travel a lot and his mother cannot get through to him. We don’t know how to handle this to where he won’t hate us.—At wit’s end
Dear At wit’s end: Good parenting is not about being popular. You’ve described a situation that is obviously unhealthy. In your own words, you’ve said Jason is “addicted”. If your son was addicted to drugs would you stand by and wring your hands? It is your job to correct your son’s course with love and resolve. Don’t let him down.
Be upfront. Let Jason know you are concerned about his gaming habit. Tell him there are going to be changes. Assure him that he will still be able to play certain games for certain periods of time.
The next step is to spend time with him while he plays. Without judging him or the games, observe, observe, observe. Ask questions. Separate Jason from the problem. He’s a cool kid. He’s your kid.
Decide which games are acceptable and set up a routine. For a heavy user like Jason, an hour a day is reasonable with no more than two hours per day on weekends and holidays. Let him know the consequences should he not comply. Since he has no other interests, I recommend those consequences be long-term breaks from the computer—which would aid him immensely.
Follow through. If the computer in his bedroom, be prepared to remove it if monitoring is impossible. If he needs to check email or do homework he can use the family computer, which I recommend moving into your bedroom.
Make sure he knows, straight up, the reason you are taking steps is because you love him. It will help immensely to say this out loud, repeatedly, through the entire process.
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