Straight Talk TNT

Boy has prom jitters

Apr 21, 2010

DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: I would like to go to prom, but I doubt I have the nerve to ask the girl I like — and I doubt she would accept since I’ve never told her I like her. Is there a way to tell if a girl will say yes? I don’t want to feel so rejected that I give up on going altogether. However, if I asked another girl instead, do I need to date her afterwards? How do I let her know it’s just as friends? — Fairly Nerdy Junior, Marysville, Calif.

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Leif 21, Berkeley, Calif. Ask me a question

Prom is way too much pressure for a first date, especially a dream-date with a crush. For every “perfect” prom story, there are hundreds that are awkward or downright nasty. Take someone you enjoy hanging out with. Make it clear you are going as friends. Ask the girl you like out to something else.

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Jessie 17, Ashland, Ore. Ask me a question

Here’s what has worked for guys who ask a friend: 1) casually bring up prom to see if she already has plans; 2) if she doesn’t, ask if she’d want to go with you — just as friends — since you don’t have plans yet either! 3) suggest maybe getting a group together. Gauge how to act that night based on how she acts towards you. Regardless of what happens, there is no requirement to date afterward.

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Katelyn 15, Huntington Beach, Calif. Ask me a question

Here are some girl signs. If she ignores you most of the day, it’s probably a no. If she’s friendly, you have a better chance. Yet nothing is for sure.

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Ashley 22, Auburn, Calif. Ask me a question

My good friend in high school asked me to prom senior year and we went as friends and it was tons of fun. I don’t know if he liked me or not, but nothing came of it. If your crush says no, a girl who is already your friend would be happy to have somebody to go with. Just be up front that it’s as friends.

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Brie 18, Ashland, Ore. Ask me a question

If you really like this girl, don’t let rejection overshadow the possibility that she’ll say yes. Lots of kids at my school ask by putting a note on the person’s windshield with instructions on what to do if the answer is yes. Regarding asking a friend, I prefer honesty so I’m not led on. This year, I asked a guy friend.

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Maureen 18, Redding, Calif. Ask me a question

Ask the girl you really like. The worst she can do is say no, right? A website with creative ways to ask a girl to prom is http://bit.ly/ar8rQx. But it’s often more fun to go with a friend because there’s no pressure.

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Gabriel 19, Ashland, Ore. Ask me a question

Some tips: Present yourself with confidence around the girl you like. Acting happy with your life will make her want to be part of it. Do a little flirting and teasing with good-natured humor. Never act needy. Be the guy who can take it or leave it. She will notice this, I promise. The other thing you can do is take a cute friend to prom as a “friend date.” Women are programmed to respond to a guy that has been selected by other girls. The girl you like will take an interest.

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Lauren Ask me a question

DEAR MARYSVILLE JUNIOR: I refuse to call you “nerdy.” You just need practice. If you really think a ‘no’ answer could make you sit home, I recommend asking a friend. Practice Gabriel’s tips for awhile before asking out your crush. Keep in mind, though, whether she (or anyone) says yes or no, is not as important as continuing to take the risk of asking for what you want. Pushing yourself to ask for what you want is good therapy for someone who needs to believe in himself more.

Picture of Lauren Forcella

Editor’s Web Note: To my high school readers who are planning to “whoop it up” at prom with help of drugs and alcohol, and to those that will encounter them along the way, here are 3 reasons to say no and push your own personality to create the fun: 1) Today’s drugs are too strong. Pharmaceuticals and pot are ridiculously strong, especially for a developing brain. Some kids react badly and permanently. Alcohol leads the way in killing you on the spot. 2) Being high retards you socially. It may seem like a ticket to the social club, but the more you are high, the less you learn how to fit in unless you ARE high. Trust me on this. 3) They get you in trouble. Many schools use breathalyzers and drug tests at dances. Is it worth getting expelled or losing privileges? Or worse, getting pregnant, an STI, killing someone in a car? Keep an eye out for each other. If someone is high, please don’t let him or her drive, or disappear into a bedroom. — Lauren Forcella

Comments

  1. By Zach from California, USA on 05/13/2010

    I am overweight and socially awkward but I have asked at least a dozen girls out myself. What I have learned is that in hindsight, it’s nothing to be told no. Don’t overhype yourself on just one person and think them your dream girl but don’t be pessimistic and just assume they’ll say no. Being told no only hurts for a day but not knowing for years hurts much longer. Trust me, I’ve experienced both.

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