Straight Talk TNT

Dear Straight Talk: My 15 year-old daughter “Alexis” is fighting me tooth and nail to get a tattoo on her lower back and pierce the side of her nose. I think tattoos and piercings look cheap and it makes me sick to think of her making these permanent alterations to her body. Am I out of touch with this generation, or am I doing my job as a parent? What is your advice?—Grossed-out Mom

Dear Grossed-out: We can rest knowing that the perennial job of each generation to shock its elders is alive and well. The perennial job of parents—to stand up and set limits—needs to stay alive and well, too. As far as the tattoo goes, they are illegal in California for minors and nothing more needs to be said. Regarding her proposed nose piercing, I always advise parents to choose their challenges carefully. If this is indeed your challenge, then rise to it.

Dr. Tanghetti, Sacramento dermatologist, says that though some body parts close upon removal of the jewelry, there is no guarantee that a pierced body part will close.

From Brittney, 15: I have my nose, lip, and belly-button pierced along with numerous ear piercings. Does this make my mother a bad parent? I don’t think so at all. She is just letting me express myself in a way that isn’t harmful. Initially, she was against any facial piercings because she doesn’t like the way they look, but finally she realized that it isn’t her body, it’s mine. As far as parenting skills go, one of the best lessons you can teach your children is to never judge a book by its cover. What you deem as being cheap at first glance could totally shock you if you took a deeper look.

Dear Grossed-out: As Brittney’s mother, though I do not like facial and body piercings, I would take it any day over drinking or using drugs. I realize that this generation is different than mine, just as my generation was different than my mother’s. Though I’ve agreed to certain piercings, I have a say in the size of body jewelry she wears.

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