Dear Straight Talk: Would an adult perspective on cutting help? When I was 30 I went through a very painful divorce. During one intense crying jag, I grabbed a steak knife and began drawing lines on my arms—without actually drawing blood. I honestly don’t know what compelled me to do it. I’m nearly 50 years old now and back then I had never heard of “cutting”.
This is what it felt like: the intense nervousness and angst I was feeling suddenly was “limited” to the scraping on my arms. It felt “nice” to have so much pain limited to a small area. I believe our body releases comfort chemicals to help ease pain, which may be where the “rush” comes from. Of course, I was scared that I was going crazy since I had no idea cutting was something people did. After a few times, I forced myself to avoid the activity because I sensed it could become addicting. I knew it was a copout to avoid the real issues that were perplexing me. Today, if I had a teenager who was cutting, I would explain how addicting it can be.
I think cutters probably fall into two categories, the ones who want to “limit” their pain and the ones who want a rush. For the former, I recommend talk therapy (it worked for me), and for the latter, an exciting sport that provides an alternative rush. I hope this adult insight helps.—Name withheld
Dear Name withheld: It does. Twenty years ago, when you drew those lines on your arms, cutting was just emerging as an addictive psycho-cultural phenomenon. Though it is now commonplace, it continues to frighten people and your letter is helping lift that fear so we can see what we are dealing with.
If someone is cutting, your recommendations for talk therapy and for engaging the body athletically couldn’t be more right on. With the current speed of life, the breakdown of the family, and the substitution of electronics for human warmth, I would add that these are important activities whether a person is cutting or not.
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