Girls definitely have more free rein to do what they want when they want. Women have become so free, provocative, educated and strong that men need to work for their attention. In that sense, the playing field is leveled. But it’s ridiculous if guys are giving up. With communication, there shouldn’t be a problem. If a girl stays at your house until 2AM, ask what she is expecting. If she humiliates you for communicating, she isn’t worth pursuing. Anyone playing mind-games should be dropped. There are still worthy girls out there, you just have to find them.

I agree that girls do the majority of the flirting and then expect the guy to take the risk and make the actual move. But once the right girl comes along, how is that such a big problem?

Girls do like to flirt and we often take it too far, but guys are guilty too. I’ve had guys admit they’ve liked me for years and haven’t done anything about it. This makes them unattractive to me. If a guy makes a move, even if I wasn’t interested originally, I am now. Straightforward is good. Girls don’t like to wait, so have some confidence: Act like we want you!

It’s exactly as you describe. Either she’s upset that you didn’t kiss her or upset that you did. For the most part, guys are obvious. If we like a girl, we focus on her, but if a girl likes a guy, she flirts with many others, not just him. And guys don’t mind if girls kiss them, but if a guy kisses a girl, you might as well have slapped her. Everyone freezes and assumes he’s crazy. If girls want power, they shouldn’t ridicule guys who ask them out. It’s mean and manipulative when they’ve been flirting with them.

I’m also a cheery person and I have learned to provide a safe, comfortable emotional environment for friends in need. Just knowing someone cares makes a difference; you don’t need to have the answers. Basically, I try to get people to believe in themselves and see that hardships can be sources of strength. I look at life situations, like my dad’s passing away or breaking up with my girlfriend, positively, and that’s what I try to teach.

People come to me for help almost for the opposite reasons. I’ve been through a deep depression where I couldn’t get out of bed and all I could do was cry. I took different medicines, did counseling and anger management, and learned about breathing and how to break down situations differently in my mind. Now I’m off the medicine and consider myself a success story. Many people think that those who say they are suicidal are just looking for attention. But the need for attention is real. The key is, don’t act like a counselor. Don’t say things like, “Why are you depressed?” And don’t use “poor you” statements. I used to do that, but then I would get those 3AM phone calls. Instead, I tell the story of how I beat my depression and anger, and insist they get professional help like I did. What’s really bad is some friends steer you the wrong way with, “What? You’re not drinking with us tonight? Not smoking pot tonight?” They don’t get how vulnerable you are when you’re depressed.

Most of my friends are girls and it would be awkward if one of them that I did not have similar feelings for, confessed to romantic feelings. Rarely can a friendship recover from that. Unless you are getting similar vibes from this guy, keep it to yourself. If you tell him, you risk losing him. A true friend will last for life, most high school relationships do not. Proceed with caution.

I went through this last year. I was good friends with this guy and when he broke up with his girlfriend, I shared my feelings. We went out for a few months but then it got awkward because the little things we used to do as “friends” became “couple things.” We broke up and now we’re not really friends anymore. The few months together weren’t worth the loss. Hold off and eventually your feelings for him will change and you will like someone else.

I had a best friend like this and after his “confession of love” our friendship was damaged because I knew he was “settling” as my friend. Pay attention to Nick and see if he has an attraction to you, because if he does, you would have the most incredible relationship.

It’s not uncommon these days to have great friends of the opposite sex. I have many good friends who are girls — and these situations do sometimes become romantic. I say, follow your heart. If you are good enough friends it might be weird for a bit, but you’ll get over it, and if nothing else, you’ll have something to laugh about later.

Caution is always good when it comes to relationships. Wait and see if the feelings continue, and get a second opinion. You could also get clues by being really friendly, sitting close to him, etc.

I’ve been dating my best friend of eight years for a few months and it’s great because we know each other so well. Make hints to see if Nick shares your feelings. If he doesn’t and he’s a good friend, you guys should be able to get past that and still remain friends. But if you do start dating and then break up, can your friendship survive? That’s my question.

For those friends who are brutally honest with their crushes, it never seems to turn out bad. Suggest a date for just the two of you. In the midst of a friendly conversation, come out and ask him if he’s ever considered you guys being more than friends. If he’s mature, he won’t make it awkward if he’s not interested.

My first “stepmom,” “Carmen,” was always trying to act young and popular and would hang out with me and my sisters like she was a teenager herself. It came off as really fake. She constantly interrupted conversations I was having with my dad leaving me almost no one-on-one time with him. She did lots of inappropriate things, too, like showing me her lingerie, talking bad about my mom, taking favorites among us kids, and expecting her daughter and me to be “best friends.” Also, my bedroom was next to theirs and there was no regard for the fact that I could hear them having their “fun.” Finally, when they broke up, she wanted the gifts she had given me back.

The second one, “Molly,” had no kids of her own, and was always pushing her opinions, telling us how to be feminine, giving us tips on how to live. (Never try to mimic a real mother!) She was always interrupting me, wanted me to look at websites she was interested in and be her entertainment when my dad was gone. She was a great cook, however, which was a real plus.

The third, “Jasmine,” is the best. She’s not too pushy, she doesn’t try to be our mom, she’s open to doing things with us but she doesn’t feel bad if we don’t want to.

Hot tip: All three talk, or talked, way too much! Notice when our eyes glaze over and don’t drag conversations out.

When my stepmother entered the picture, it took forever to get used to her. Take it slow, give the kids space to breath — while ensuring them you’re there. Leave disciplinary actions to the real parents. I never listened when my stepmom yelled at me. The best thing my stepmother did was to be a friend I could talk to rather than a parent. With this approach, I grew to respect her and she eventually became one of my best friends.

When my dad remarried, I was explicit that his wife was not my mother and never would be. It wasn’t anything against her; I just didn’t want anybody trying to fill that role. Once we were clear on this, she and I got along swimmingly. Take the role of a friend or mentor and don’t take it personally if the kids don’t warm up to you completely.

My father’s girlfriend does not try to be our mother. She’s open to the way we’ve always lived, helps out, is friendly and available if you need advice, and offers rides to whoever needs them. She does talk a lot, though, and sometimes I wish I could escape. The best thing is she does not feel like WE have to adapt to HER. You’re the newcomer, accept the kids as they are, don’t try to change things. Little things, like moving plates around in cabinets, can really bug us.

Both of my parents remarried when I was in my teens and there were many awkward power struggles. Don’t instruct, just be a role model. Create a loving, patient, and supportive environment, be a unified front with their dad, and don’t try to replace their mother.

It certainly is safer “politically” to tell your child to follow the rules or lose the car, but most teens engage in restricted activities if they think they can get away with it. With a Bluetooth there is a better chance they won’t text, which is the main cause of accidents. I agree, the advice sounds “off,” but it’s better to be safer in the true sense of the word, rather than politically safe.

I’m appalled that teens like “Jason” disrespect their fellow drivers with something as dangerous as texting and driving. However, this law prohibiting drivers under 18 from using their phone is really dumb. And allowing texting for those over 18 is even dumber. As a parent, it is your job to protect your child. If you think your child is going to text anyway, get him a Bluetooth and insist he use Jott (www.jott.com), which lets you send text messages via voice.

If your priority is to force your child to toe the line, by all means, give ultimatums. It won’t work, but if it keeps your conscience clean, go ahead. However, if your priority is to keep your child safe, you will take a less dogmatic approach. I cannot overemphasize the importance of trust and cooperation between parents and teens. If you start threatening and using “leverage” against your kids, I guarantee a backlash. At the very least, they will be evasive and dishonest with you. Parents who listen to their child with an open mind, and approach something like the cell phone ban practically and flexibly have the best chance of getting their teen to comply with their wishes.

A 17-year-old should pay for his own legal mistakes. At this age, take it out of the parent’s hand and give it to the law’s.

Whoa! If you remove your child’s driving privileges, you end up being the chauffeur — either that or he’ll ride with friends (who likely text or talk while driving). If you want teens to be safer while driving, get them cars with automatic transmissions (which frees up a hand) and insist they use a Bluetooth.

Most intelligent, educated, mature teenagers take the movie for what it is and understand that getting pregnant and giving a child up for adoption is not as easy as it is portrayed in the movie, Juno. Of course, teenagers who are insecure, immature, or have a weak sense of identity, may identify with the movie — especially because the main character is super intelligent, beautiful, trendy, and strong. I don’t think it’s so much the movie as the person watching the movie that determines its effect.

The movie, Juno, makes pregnancy a walk in the park. It is, in no way, realistic. Your friends are very brave to be going through with their pregnancies, but perhaps they are not thinking it through.

The whole ‘Juno effect’ thing is ridiculous. This movie hasn’t started anything. Teen pregnancy has been going on forever. I think when girls watch this movie they are in love with the characters, storyline, and soundtrack, not applying it to real life.

When I was in high school, a few girls got pregnant and decided to follow through with the pregnancy — and that was three or four years ago. I also knew a few who got pregnant and decided not to. Ever since the movie came out, teen pregnancy has been highlighted as if it was something new, but it’s not. People are just paying more attention. I don’t think the movie makes it more acceptable to get pregnant, but I do think it makes it more appealing to see a pregnancy through. All movies are unrealistic, but Juno contains grains of truth such as: being pregnant and having a kid is not the end of the world (a depressingly prevalent train of thought); most parents will care about their daughter even if she gets pregnant; and anyone can get pregnant if you’re not careful — even smart, witty, popular kids.

I think the movie’s effect depends on a girl’s personality. Timid or shy girls aren’t going to sleep with a guy just because they are bored, even after watching this movie. But sluttier girls use boys in different ways, and this movie might fit their lifestyle. I loved the movie. When I first saw it with friends, I wasn’t at all thinking about it. Then my mom suggested we watch it together, and the awkwardness of her sitting there made the ‘lights’ go on and I saw how shocking and unrealistic it was. I mean, Juno finds this really cool adoptive family almost effortlessly, her parents don’t get upset, it’s nothing to give up her child, and at school she’s like, okay everybody, deal with it. I could never do that! I would feel so embarrassed walking around school pregnant.

Warning signs are really hard. A lot of teenagers go through depression, sleep a lot, and pull away from family and friends, but they’re not necessarily suicidal. The only way to know is to ask him. Tell him you are worried about the changes in his behavior.

I’ve never attended church. I believe in one main God, whom I pray to — and that everything is God.

My closest friends are mostly the same religion as me; they pray, believe in God, and attend church regularly. Our parents are the same religion, too, but I honestly think, given the choice, we would all stay. I attribute my values and choices to my religion.

I’ve been forced to attend church since birth but my over-the-top Catholic parents contribute to almost all my stress. I’m constantly judged and never good enough. If parents would ease up on the religion thing, we would like it more.

Till I was 10, my mom took me to the Unitarian Universalist Church which teaches the different religions. Afterward, since I didn’t feel a “connection”, she let me stop going. I think there are angels and spirits, but not an individual “God.” If there was, why are people in Africa dying, why did the earthquake in China kill thousands of schoolchildren?

I was raised Mormon. Then I realized that organized religion is a means of answering what is unanswerable and incomprehensible. I cannot accept the premise that God, (a gentle old man with a beard, or perhaps the Sun), determines how I should live. I’m open to the “idea” of God, but I cannot honestly comprehend this level of mystery — and I’m comfortable with that! To quote from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, “The answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.”

If I were to say that God speaks to me I’d be laughed at, but it’s perfectly okay for the Pope — and I guarantee he’s more corrupt than I! There is the story of the man who invented his own religion, preached it, and attained followers. Much later he confessed to making the whole thing up, whereupon his followers stoned him to death and went on believing. If the Pope denounced God, something similar would happen. God didn’t create people, people created God.

Almost everyone has a religious battle inside. There are the college students, who, after taking a world religions class, turn against all religion. Then there’s the group who believes in God, but doesn’t proceed because of the influence of family, friends, and the thought of giving up worldly possessions and vices. Next is the group who believes, but does not voice their beliefs out of fear of ridicule. Fourth are those who tried the “church thing” but found it “judgmental.” Let’s not forget those who say they believe, but are no closer to God than a non-believer. For me, I believe in Christ and the Lord and will express that to any ear that will listen.

My parents didn’t attend services, but I went often with friends. Around fourth grade, it became a big deal whether I was “Christian” or not, but I never felt fully accepted. By high school I thought I was atheist. But now that I’ve had more life experience, I’m open to the idea of a higher power. I’m glad my parents didn’t force a religion on me so I could decipher “life” for myself. As for values, my parents are highly moral; they taught me right from wrong and made me take responsibility for myself.

Being a mother seems like a hard job, and if all you talk about is what you want, I can see how she could take offense. Is it possible that she holds everything in at work, then vents at home? Or does she have too much to do? Try asking how her day went. If she snaps, don’t take offense, just ask again the next day. Cleaning the house may seem stupid to you, but it would probably brighten her day, and doing it before she asks will really help things. For the moment, put your needs aside and attend to hers. In the end, you and your mom will have a better relationship.

When my step-mom moved in, the situation was a lot like yours. She always seemed angry or disappointed in me and I got in trouble for the small things as well. I eventually started writing notes to her, that way I could talk without her anger and stress interfering. Eventually we grew fairly close and now we are very honest with each other and can talk about almost anything.

Tell her exactly what you said in this letter — or better, write her. Writing will help you get more of your own feelings out, and because she can’t interrupt you, it can soak in. Writing was very effective for me when I needed to talk to my parents during difficult times.

My dad is like this with me and I’m glad I don’t live with him full-time. He is deaf to my needs and feelings. It’s “his way” or the “highway.” I once wrote him a letter, on the advice of my mother, and he just laughed while he read it. I don’t have advice other than to find someone else you can talk to, and find a healthy way to vent your frustrations.

I have a friend who started just like this. Two years later, she’s popping pills and taking ecstasy. By all means, tell the parents.

You tell their parents, trust me, your friends will hate you. Last year I was a freshman and I didn’t think my friends were doing anything, and then one day I discovered differently. They didn’t pressure me, but because I opened my big mouth and got mad at them, I lost a bunch of those friends. Months later, I apologized and accepted their behavior. Now, a year later, over half of them have stopped. Be there for your friends — just don’t let yourself be pressured into joining them. Most likely they will grow out of it.

Unfortunately, drinking and smoking weed is like a “rite of passage” and there’s not much you can do. I keep a relatively straight path by thinking of where I want to be down the road and making my decisions based on those goals. If you present your opinion in this “big picture” kind of way, you’ll have more luck.

Because they’re not close friends, they probably won’t listen to you, but it’s worth a try. On the other hand, be careful not to let their problems become yours. Kids this age are striving to look mature, however, it’s the kids who choose to not pollute their bodies who are the mature ones.

I would be most worried about the drinking. Many of my peers are now dealing with alcoholism from their years in college. Imagine if you started drinking at 14! You will be doing society a huge favor by telling — or leaving an anonymous note — with their parents or a school counselor. I’m not against teenagers being curious and experimenting, but 14 is too young! Focus Adolescent Services says that teens who start drinking before age 15 are five times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than those who start at 21, and that alcohol is a leading factor in the top three causes of death for 15- to 24-year-olds, which are automobile crashes, homicides and suicides. They go on to say that lack of parental support, monitoring, and communication are significantly related to the drinking habits of adolescents, and that harsh, inconsistent discipline, and hostility or rejection toward children also significantly predict adolescent drinking and alcohol-related problems.