Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
July 19th, 2006
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 16 and I don’t know what to do. I’m in love with my best friend’s boyfriend and I think he’s in love with me. Last night we were at a party and he took me aside and kissed me. He’s already called me twice today talking about how he can’t stop thinking about me and how things aren’t so great with “Mary”. I’ve always liked him, but for the sake of my friendship with Mary I’ve never made any moves. Now I’m totally confused and don’t know how to handle this without losing a friend. What do people do in cases like this?—Help!
Dear Help: If you go forward, figure on losing your friend for sure. Maybe you gain the guy, maybe you don’t, that’s a roll of the dice—but if you do get him, figure on never being able to trust him.
Best friends are hard to come by. Guys you can’t trust are on every corner—or in this case, at every party. I recommend you shake off the fairy dust and tell Mary’s boyfriend you’re not interested in a relationship for obvious reasons.
Here’s more from the teen staff:
From Brittney, 18: I have seen this situation many times and have gone through something similar myself. To get right to the point, don’t pursue it. Your friend will be hurt, and I have never found a guy who is worth losing a friend over, especially a best friend.
From Farren, 18: Any guy who cheats on his girlfriend with her best friend honestly isn’t the type of guy someone should date. If it happened to Mary, it can happen to you. I think you should let your love interest go, let Mary know what happened, and try to redeem yourself to her any way you possibly can.
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December 29th, 2004
Straight Talk asks teens: What bugs you most about your generation?
From Jarrad, 16: We’re shallow. We’re too concerned about what others think. We can’t accept the way we look naturally and feel the need to dye our hair, pierce and tattoo ourselves, install fake breasts.
From Nick, 17: It seems like everyone follows what their parents believe, not thinking for themselves. I saw this especially around the election. Also, we’re very lazy and apathetic compared to other generations, like drones or sheep. We don’t care about others’ feelings. In fact, my generation doesn’t care much about anything.
From Farren, 17: We are lazy. We’re living in a comatose world: TV, pain killers—we’re like “living debris.” Girls are really naïve today, very promiscuous, doing drugs, needing to be as slim as possible, having the perfect body. Everyone’s overly dramatic, like they’re the center of the world. There is constant whining and needing of sympathy, and at the same time, a lack of sensitivity to others’ feelings. No one is nice anymore. Everyone should love each other. Respect shouldn’t need to be earned, it should be a given. My generation suffers low self-esteem in general and I think that’s because parents are more concerned with how other adults perceive their parenting job rather than getting to know who their kids are and parenting from that angle.
From Lennon: 18: An obvious annoyance about my generation is the consumer thing: how much we want expensive things, just the right look, just the right clothes. What I also find is that my generation has an inflated feeling of self-importance. A lot of my peers like to pass their responsibilities onto their friends. If the person resists, then they make that person wrong by guilt-tripping them. There is minimal sensitivity or caring of others’ feelings. We’ve got all these individual personalities and each one thinks they’re the center of the universe. Like demigods. It’s very imbalanced: take, take, take. Spoiled is not the right word. Demanding is not a strong enough word. “Commanding” is a better word. What one personality wants, it thinks it has a right to command. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that so many of my generation were born as “only” children.
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December 31st, 1969
Dear Straight Talk: My mother is 53 and I am 21. She and my father divorced when I was 14 and I am her only child. Mother never dated much after the divorce and she drinks more and more each year and has become quite overweight. She still looks pretty, she has a decent job, but it seems like the older I get—or the older she gets—the more she whines and clings to me. I’m going to college out of town but am home summers and holidays. This summer is the worst. According to her, I am there for everyone but her. I have a full-time summer job and friends in the area, including a serious girlfriend who I am rooming with. How can I get my mom to understand that I love her, but can’t spend too much time with her?—Suffocated son
Dear Suffocated: Set boundaries. At 21, you’re doing exactly what you should be doing: working, going to college, finding your own true love. You’ve heard about cutting the apron strings, right? Well, that time has arrived. Being an empty-nester can be difficult, especially for a single parent, but catering to her insecurity will only make things worse.
However, she is your mother. So, be proactive in your boundary-setting. Instigate an engagement with her each week, whether it is lunch, dinner, or helping with heavy tasks. Look around the place and see what needs to be done. If you can, bring your friends along—maybe one of them has a single father that can help with something challenging. If you take the lead and show respect for her on your terms—yet refuse to be drawn into her guilt trip—she will have no choice but to accept the fact that you are your own man.
You mention that your mother drinks, so I’ll snoop a bit. What about you? Adult children of alcoholics tend to drink or use drugs in order to soften the edges of life with that alcoholic parent. I’d like you to take a look and see if this is true for you. You don’t have to look far to see, how, down the road, a drinking habit can magnify any hang-ups you might have.
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