July 23rd, 2008
DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: I know of four different teenage girls right now who are in various stages of obvious pregnancy. None are married and all plan to give birth to the child. Do you think it’s the ‘Juno’ effect?
A loyal reader
Farren, 20:
Most intelligent, educated, mature teenagers take the movie for what it is and understand that getting pregnant and giving a child up for adoption is not as easy as it is portrayed in the movie, Juno. Of course, teenagers who are insecure, immature, or have a weak sense of identity, may identify with the movie — especially because the main character is super intelligent, beautiful, trendy, and strong. I don’t think it’s so much the movie as the person watching the movie that determines its effect.
Nicole, 18:
The movie, Juno, makes pregnancy a walk in the park. It is, in no way, realistic. Your friends are very brave to be going through with their pregnancies, but perhaps they are not thinking it through.
Bird, 17:
The whole ‘Juno effect’ thing is ridiculous. This movie hasn’t started anything. Teen pregnancy has been going on forever. I think when girls watch this movie they are in love with the characters, storyline, and soundtrack, not applying it to real life.
Peter, 21:
When I was in high school, a few girls got pregnant and decided to follow through with the pregnancy — and that was three or four years ago. I also knew a few who got pregnant and decided not to. Ever since the movie came out, teen pregnancy has been highlighted as if it was something new, but it’s not. People are just paying more attention. I don’t think the movie makes it more acceptable to get pregnant, but I do think it makes it more appealing to see a pregnancy through. All movies are unrealistic, but Juno contains grains of truth such as: being pregnant and having a kid is not the end of the world (a depressingly prevalent train of thought); most parents will care about their daughter even if she gets pregnant; and anyone can get pregnant if you’re not careful — even smart, witty, popular kids.
Jennifer, 14:
I think the movie’s effect depends on a girl’s personality. Timid or shy girls aren’t going to sleep with a guy just because they are bored, even after watching this movie. But sluttier girls use boys in different ways, and this movie might fit their lifestyle. I loved the movie. When I first saw it with friends, I wasn’t at all thinking about it. Then my mom suggested we watch it together, and the awkwardness of her sitting there made the ‘lights’ go on and I saw how shocking and unrealistic it was. I mean, Juno finds this really cool adoptive family almost effortlessly, her parents don’t get upset, it’s nothing to give up her child, and at school she’s like, okay everybody, deal with it. I could never do that! I would feel so embarrassed walking around school pregnant.
DEAR LOYAL READER: Is there a ‘Juno’ effect? The answer is in the proverbial oven. When the timer goes off we can see whether teen birthrates rise following release of this movie — or not. All we know is that Juno was overwhelmingly popular and hardly a girl over 12 hasn’t seen it. It won the 2008 Academy Award for original screenplay, was nominated for best picture, and sold at Starbucks coffeehouses across the nation. All media undeniably soak into consciousness and have an effect. What a person “soaks up” depends on what values are already established and how awake that person is. Jennifer’s mother has the right idea. I advise all parents to invite their teenager, male or female, to an additional critical viewing. The more “lights” that go on, the better.
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February 13th, 2008
Dear Straight Talk: Are you aware of the dual standard in your advice to “No name please?” (Website, JAN 23) You talked about how easy it is for guys to “run” from a pregnancy, then, in the next line you said that guys, by law, must pay child support for 18 years! That doesn’t sound much like running! Especially when the girl can end her involvement instantly by an abortion or adoption! Which of these sounds more like running? Sure, guys need to take responsibility for their actions and learn to respect girls, but as long as girls are watching Entertainment and MTV, using Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan as role-models, doing ANYTHING to attract guys, there will be guys to give them what they want.
Todd
Dear Todd: Thanks for a male perspective. The female panelists responded in droves. I’ll turn the floor over to them.
From Farren, 20
Paying child support will never make up for a guy deciding he wants nothing to do with raising his child. Abiding by a law that protects mothers from complete poverty is different than being there. Also, many fathers do not pay child support. I’m not saying every father must stand by his child no matter what, but seriously, how is it not easier for them to run away? They aren’t carrying the child in their womb, they aren’t responsible for delivering the child, breastfeeding the child, raising the child — or making the painful decision of abortion or adoption. Both parties are involved in pregnancy and both have consequences. There should be no finger pointing. Both need to be responsible for safe sex, whether that’s wearing a condom or using birth control. Nothing should be left to the other. As for Spears and Lohan, women have been sexually repressed for decades! Men can sleep around and that’s a normal thing; when girls do it they’re “sluts.” Dual standard you say?
From Mariah, 16
He made the choice to have sex and knows the consequences just as much as she does.
From Bird, 17
I don’t know one girl who idolizes Paris, Britney, or Lindsay. To see where they are now is truly shocking. We remember Britney in her pigtails and now she has two babies and is in rehab. It is sad that these girls make more news then the real issues.
From Kendal, 21
I’m supposed to believe that every girl who has a sexual relationship, and/or who is considering an abortion, is automatically a girl who dresses provocatively, watches mindless TV, worships the celebrities you mentioned, and deserves the situation she’s in? Give me a break.
From Sara, 19
I was taught to believe that abortion is awful and should not be allowed. After losing my mom, I looked to a boyfriend for comfort and I got pregnant. I was 17 and to this day I haven’t told my family. I was not using birth control. Dumb, I know, but I was scared my dad would find it. Some friends looked down on me for my decision, but my boyfriend and I knew we weren’t capable of raising a baby and I knew how upset my family would be if I followed it through. Maybe it was selfish, but I also wanted to go to college and pursue my career. I thought I’d be with my boyfriend forever, he’d even proposed to me. Six months after our ordeal we broke up. He was seeing another girl! Can you imagine being eight months pregnant with no family support and no boyfriend?
From Ashley, 20
When a girl has an abortion she is not necessarily running away because it sticks in her mind forever. Britney and Paris? Guys watch them, too, and have higher expectations and put pressure on girls to be “hot chicks.” It’s a two-way street.
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January 23rd, 2008
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 17 and I’m pregnant. I was using a birth control shot. I have tons of support, especially from my mother, to make my own choice and I am confident in my decision to have a medicinal abortion. The problem is my boyfriend. He is my age but has no grasp of what I’m going through and I don’t know how to talk to him about it. Earlier I was confused and blamed the pregnancy on him. We are nearly breaking up over this. Am I being selfish? He says he doesn’t want it so why are we having so many problems? — No name please
Dear No name: He was playing with fire and got caught. You both were. The difference is, he can run and you can’t — which makes him antsy and you scrambling to point fingers. I’m very happy you told your mother. If you decide to keep the baby, contact Child Support Services in your county directory. By law, the father must pay child support until the child is 18. Read on.
From Emily, 15: You’re not selfish. It’s easy for guys to run away. They are not stuck with the weight, the moral decisions, the responsibility. He is the selfish one for not wanting to be involved. But neither of you should have to worry about abortion and parenthood right now, you should be thinking about your next test or this weekend’s movie. Nonetheless, he needs to step up and become a man. If that’s not going to happen, it’s time to move on and do what YOU think is best.
From Rose, 20: When I was 17 some of my friends got pregnant. The ones who had abortions were glad they did, but also said they would never have one again. The ones who had their babies still struggle a lot — even those with family support. In your situation, there is no wrong or selfish choice.
From Peter, 20: Ultimately it is your choice, that’s the final answer. However, blaming the pregnancy on him was wrong. While he has no clue what you’re going through, you have no clue what he’s going through, either. Just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean he isn’t running the whole field of emotions, too.
From Megan, 18: I’ve known couples who have gone through abortions together and made it work. Really talk with him, don’t hold your emotions back. You probably both have feelings about this that you haven’t told each other.
From Mary, 17: It’s his kid as much as yours. Have an abortion, keep it, give it up for adoption, no one can tell you what to do, but you TWO need to do it together. My friend, who is 16, just found out she is pregnant; she has to go it alone as the father isn’t around anymore.
From Bird, 17: I recently went through this, too. My mother said, “I cannot help you make this choice. It’s your choice alone.” I was so depressed Fischer Price commercials would make me cry. Telling my boyfriend was seriously harder than telling my mother. He told all our friends I was pregnant, yet he wouldn’t go to Planned Parenthood with me. When I asked what he wanted to do, he said, “Get rid of it. If you keep it, that’s your choice.” His insensitivity broke our relationship. We are the same age but I’m an emancipated minor attending college and I’ve been working since I was 14. He is unemployed, waiting to get into a G.E.D. program because he was kicked out of high school. He didn’t want to get a job even knowing a child of his might be born. For me, an abortion was the right decision. The choice isn’t supposed to be easy, nor is the process, but it made me stronger.
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