Archive for the ‘marraige’ Category

Youth panel weighs in on same-sex marriage

October 8th, 2008

DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: I enjoy the window into the minds of youth that your column provides and I’d like to ask them a question. Gay marriage became legal in June in California, but in November, voters have a chance to reverse that decision and etch into the state constitution that marriage is strictly “between a man and a woman.” Where does youth stand on this issue? Should marriage be something only a man and a woman get to do, or should it be available to same-sex couples as well?

Woodland, CA

DEAR WOODLAND: In four years of writing this column, no issue has inspired more passion in the youth panel than defending the rights of gays. At press time, nearly 80 percent of the panel’s input supported same-sex marriage. To read all the panel comments, click the comment tab at the end of the column.

Taylor, 19

I have two gay cousins, one male, one female, whom I love dearly. If they want to marry and call it “marriage,” who am I to judge and prevent that? I don’t believe being gay is a choice. My mom recognized my female cousin was gay when she was 4 years old. That could’ve been me.

Britney, 16

This topic is reminiscent of racial segregation. I believe being gay is not a choice; it’s like having a different skin color. No matter your skin color — or your sexual orientation — we are all still people. Most people against gay marriage cite the Bible. But I’m a Bible-follower, too, and it does not definitely say marriage must be “between a man and a woman.”

Dominic, 22

When I think of marriage, I think of a man and a woman, but the fact that this is a legislative issue is ridiculous. This is the so-called “land of the free.” The role of government is to protect our rights, not to bicker over making them exclusive.

Michael, 16

If gays want to marry, it’s not the government’s position to interfere. They do no harm. On the other hand, I’m unhappy with how the gay agenda is pushed. In almost every movie, a gay or lesbian couple is kissing. Gays have the legal benefits of marriage, why do they need to call it “marriage?” What will be next?

Elise, 17

I have no problem with gays, but marriage is ordained of God and should be between a man and a woman. However, if same-sex couples love each other and wish to be together, they should have many of the same benefits as married couples.

Bird, 18

The marriages a church performs will remain the choice of that church. But the right to a civil marriage should be open to anyone.

Jack, 18

This country preaches that everyone is created equal, so who among us is good enough to say gays can’t get married?

Graham, 15

Gays and lesbians should have equal rights in everything — including marriage. There is not a single reason to refuse them. Some Christians don’t believe in gay marriage. This confuses me. Jesus, himself, said: “Do unto others what you would want done to you.”

Betsy, 20

I have never considered gay marriage complicated. When two people are in love, regardless of their sex, they should be able to get married. Where I get confused is when gay couples are allowed the same rights as married heterosexual couples but aren’t allowed to actually say they’re “married.” Excuse me, but what the heck is the difference?

Lennon, 22

People say it’s in the Bible that marriage is between a man and a woman. Have these people ever heard of “separation of church and state”? If you don’t think gays should be allowed to marry, move to the Middle East where the church rules the state. Oh wait! There are terrorists there!

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Weddings made special by love between the couple

May 10th, 2006

Dear Straight Talk: I’m 18 and I’m responding to the letter complaining about the “big fat modern wedding”. I think the idea that weddings are supposed to be huge comes from TV and movies.

At a recent wedding I got a reality check. While the young couple had good financial backing, it was a very low key, very modest wedding. All of the decorations they did themselves—they even made their own cake. The guest list was only about 30 people, just close friends and family.

Still, when I imagine a wedding, I imagine it like any other teenage girl—unrealistically. I’m engaged, and honestly, I would like to wait to get married so I can at least have somewhat of an unrealistic wedding. Even though weddings are about declaring your vows, I do think it’s nice to have that one special day.—Willing to wait

Dear Willing: Whether a wedding is simple or elaborate, what makes it special are the feelings between the couple. That’s why I recommend couples counseling before tying the knot. If money is an issue, most parents are thrilled to fund this as a pre-wedding gift. Best wishes.

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The big fat modern wedding

April 26th, 2006

Dear Straight Talk: A few weeks ago you printed a piece on a guy getting married and his mom was freaking out that he was perhaps going to the altar when he really didn’t want to. This is so typical that I’d like to personally protest the whole idea of the modern wedding. If adults wonder why nobody’s getting married these days, this pressure around the “the big fat perfect wedding” is a big fat reason why.

It would be so much easier on the couple, so much more realistic on nerves and bank accounts, if they could say their vows in a small, private setting with no material fanfare—taking strictly a spiritual angle—without the families sniping and competing over who you’re spending the most time with, who’s on the guest list, who is wearing what, whose money’s being spent, etc. It’s enough to make you keel over. You’d have to be 42, with no life, to be able to handle it. Or else drink a whole lot, which, if you’ve noticed, is how most grooms get through their “special” day.

There are some cultures where the betrothed say to each other three times in front of the holy person: “I marry you, I marry you, I marry you.”  Now THAT I could handle.—19, in a committed relationship, but a wedding, are you kidding?

Dear 19: I hear what you’re saying. And if I had my way, the couple would receive at least ten big fat hours of marriage counseling before they take those sacred vows.

Anyone else like to comment on the modern wedding?

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