Straight Talk For Teens By Teens

I have a friend who started just like this. Two years later, she’s popping pills and taking ecstasy. By all means, tell the parents.

You tell their parents, trust me, your friends will hate you. Last year I was a freshman and I didn’t think my friends were doing anything, and then one day I discovered differently. They didn’t pressure me, but because I opened my big mouth and got mad at them, I lost a bunch of those friends. Months later, I apologized and accepted their behavior. Now, a year later, over half of them have stopped. Be there for your friends — just don’t let yourself be pressured into joining them. Most likely they will grow out of it.

Unfortunately, drinking and smoking weed is like a “rite of passage” and there’s not much you can do. I keep a relatively straight path by thinking of where I want to be down the road and making my decisions based on those goals. If you present your opinion in this “big picture” kind of way, you’ll have more luck.

Because they’re not close friends, they probably won’t listen to you, but it’s worth a try. On the other hand, be careful not to let their problems become yours. Kids this age are striving to look mature, however, it’s the kids who choose to not pollute their bodies who are the mature ones.

I would be most worried about the drinking. Many of my peers are now dealing with alcoholism from their years in college. Imagine if you started drinking at 14! You will be doing society a huge favor by telling — or leaving an anonymous note — with their parents or a school counselor. I’m not against teenagers being curious and experimenting, but 14 is too young! Focus Adolescent Services says that teens who start drinking before age 15 are five times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than those who start at 21, and that alcohol is a leading factor in the top three causes of death for 15- to 24-year-olds, which are automobile crashes, homicides and suicides. They go on to say that lack of parental support, monitoring, and communication are significantly related to the drinking habits of adolescents, and that harsh, inconsistent discipline, and hostility or rejection toward children also significantly predict adolescent drinking and alcohol-related problems.

You are a brave, strong person to be able to stay away from drugs when your friends are bonding with them. I believe that eventually they will respect your decision and maybe even envy you. No drug can give you something you can’t get from life itself.

Are you looking for someone to tell you you’re doing the right thing? If your heart says you’re right, don’t be affected by what others think. People ridicule what they don’t know in order to find peace with what they do.

I admire you for being able to go to parties and not get sucked into the “party scene”. I, too, have made this choice. Being happy much of the time is better than being “high-happy,” which is a temporary escape from pressures and hardships, and when it wears off, people often feel worse. The biggest drug users usually have low self-esteem. They try to be someone they’re not, while hiding who they really are. Have confidence. I can’t tell you how positive an influence people like you are on big partiers. Behind the comments, many are admiring you.

I know a lot of kids who drink and do drugs. They do it for the high. They don’t feel closer because of the same “trip.” That’s just an excuse to continue using.

My parents raised me to not become addicted to anything. So far, I have not. I do believe drugs open one’s mind and I support experimentation. But, be careful. Drugs are highly addictive and if you lack self control, or didn’t get the right attention when you were young, you could become addicted the very first time.

I agree, people are “stuck in this lifestyle.” I’ve only smoked pot a few times but I drink now and then. Alcohol sucks so much out of you: memory, time, income. Then next day, I not only can’t remember everything, but my skin is tight, I’m disrespectful, I snap faster, and everyone seems out to get me. I think drugs should be used ritually, or only at special occasions. When you do something habitually, it loses its significance.

People judge each other around partying because America is fixated on drugs and alcohol and this, sadly, is the common ground. I’ve done my fair share of experimenting but I have the utmost respect for people like you.

A lot of kids don’t realize their parents do drugs. Quite a few of my friend’s parents even smoke pot with their children, or provide it. It is more common than you think. The problem is your parents are fighting and your father seems to be smoking as an escape. Tell him you know he is using pot and ask him what is really going on between your mother and him. It will help you understand the situation, and maybe he will see how immature he is being.

Your dad had thirty years to smoke. Now he has a family and he needs to be conscious of the feelings of those around him. Tell him his actions are bothering you.

My ex-girlfriend went through this with her father. He was divorced and lived alone but he was still in love with his ex-wife. He smoked to relieve the stress. I think that is the case here, too. I know how depleting it is to argue all the time with a loved one, and if you know the arguing is affecting others (in this case, you), it adds a ton of weight. My girlfriend was bothered by her dad’s smoking also, and she really judged him. He, too, would only smoke in the bathroom. I told her that sometimes a person needs an out, a way to relax and achieve level-headedness. It’s hard to explain because people have such black-and-white thinking about pot, but as long as it doesn’t consume a person and become the only way one can relax, it is acceptable to me. Talk to your dad. Find out what’s going on with him. But don’t talk down to him; that will create a completely wrong vibe. We all know smoking pot is not the best thing. It is your job to find a healthier outlet for yourself. One of the hardest things in life is when you realize you have to be better than your parents.