Straight Talk For Teens By Teens

I have two gay cousins, one male, one female, whom I love dearly. If they want to marry and call it “marriage,” who am I to judge and prevent that? I don’t believe being gay is a choice. My mom recognized my female cousin was gay when she was 4 years old. That could’ve been me.

This topic is reminiscent of racial segregation. I believe being gay is not a choice; it’s like having a different skin color. No matter your skin color — or your sexual orientation — we are all still people. Most people against gay marriage cite the Bible. But I’m a Bible-follower, too, and it does not definitely say marriage must be “between a man and a woman.”

When I think of marriage, I think of a man and a woman, but the fact that this is a legislative issue is ridiculous. This is the so-called “land of the free.” The role of government is to protect our rights, not to bicker over making them exclusive.

If gays want to marry, it’s not the government’s position to interfere. They do no harm. On the other hand, I’m unhappy with how the gay agenda is pushed. In almost every movie, a gay or lesbian couple is kissing. Gays have the legal benefits of marriage, why do they need to call it “marriage?” What will be next?

I have no problem with gays, but marriage is ordained of God and should be between a man and a woman. However, if same-sex couples love each other and wish to be together, they should have many of the same benefits as married couples.

The marriages a church performs will remain the choice of that church. But the right to a civil marriage should be open to anyone.

This country preaches that everyone is created equal, so who among us is good enough to say gays can’t get married?

Gays and lesbians should have equal rights in everything — including marriage. There is not a single reason to refuse them. Some Christians don’t believe in gay marriage. This confuses me. Jesus, himself, said: “Do unto others what you would want done to you.”

I have never considered gay marriage complicated. When two people are in love, regardless of their sex, they should be able to get married. Where I get confused is when gay couples are allowed the same rights as married heterosexual couples but aren’t allowed to actually say they’re “married.” Excuse me, but what the heck is the difference?

People say it’s in the Bible that marriage is between a man and a woman. Have these people ever heard of “separation of church and state”? If you don’t think gays should be allowed to marry, move to the Middle East where the church rules the state. Oh wait! There are terrorists there!

How much teens are exposed depends on their interest. To physically expose oneself to bisexuality requires curiosity or desire. Many girls think kissing another girl is gross and they never want to do it. But there are lots of jokes and rumors in high school about what girls do together (much more than the male side of it), and it’s not that taboo anymore to be “not straight.” I think bisexuality is increasingly mainstream because of efforts by the GLBT (gay-lesbian-bi-transgender) community, the rise of the porn industry, and because of the sexual freedom portrayed in movies (which include many direct references to male fantasies of girls together). Something R-rated 30 years ago is now PG-13. It shocks our parents, but we just laugh.

Walking around my high school, it is not uncommon to see a girl holding hands with her boyfriend, kiss him, and then turn to her girlfriend and kiss her. The majority of girls having physical relationships with other girls are not lesbians, and don’t even consider themselves bisexual. On the other hand, it is rare to find experimental guys. Where girls kissing girls is somewhat of a party game, guys find kissing guys disgusting.

The song is crap. Don’t musicians want to have a positive influence on children? Look the lyrics up; they’re stupid, but they walk the line, which is why the song gets so much attention. Program a snappy beat, talk-sing some edgy prose, and voilá! you, too, can be uber-famous. If a guy came out with “I Kissed a Boy,” it wouldn’t even get produced. Most bisexuality springs from peer pressure combined with alcohol and/or drugs. I went to a private high school where there was almost none of this, but an acquaintance from college, who is mostly lesbian (but bi, too), says it was considered normal to experiment with bisexuality at her public high school, and that being gay or lesbian was common. She said their foreign exchange student initially found the scene bizarre and unnatural, but everyone kept telling him how great it was and by the time he left, he was dating a guy.

Yes, your daughter will be exposed to this in high school. I know as many bisexual girls as guys, and as many lesbians as gays. For some it’s an experiment, for others, a lifestyle. I have bisexual friends who go to this club where you have to be 14 to get inside and they have drag queen fashion shows with an open dance floor afterward. Bisexuality is everywhere. It’s not something to make you look cool. I’ve had friends beaten up for it.

Walking in on a parent is difficult enough, but you’re also dealing with the fact that your mother has re-identified her sexuality. There are gay people who falsely stay in a heterosexual relationship their whole lives. To know if this is your mother’s story, talk to her or write her a letter asking every possible question. She owes you honest answers. Keep in mind this is your mother’s choice. Though it does affect you, it isn’t you.

The fact that your mother is a lesbian obviously disturbs you. If you don’t feel comfortable at her house, don’t force it. Eventually, though, you’ll have to come to terms with the fact that she loves this woman. If she is happy all you can do is love and support her as her daughter.

I’m for keeping a family together, but this wouldn’t work for me either. I would respect my mother’s decision, but I would move in with my dad. I wouldn’t be around that type of influence — and it is an influence. People think it’s not, but nonsmokers who hang with smokers tend to start smoking, thin people who hang with obese people tend to start overeating. These are facts. It is amazing if you don’t get influenced by who you are around. By the time I’m a parent, I want my act cleaned up.

I’ve never had a problem with gays or lesbians, but I don’t know how I would react if it was my own mother. If you can talk to her, do it. Or talk to someone else. People are quite tolerant these days and your real friends will support you.

There is nothing wrong with same-sex marriages. Accept your mom’s decision. Be happy that she is finally true to herself.

It’s weird when parents get divorced and go gay or lesbian. It seems like you’d figure this out before you married a member of the opposite sex. If this happened with my mom, my brain would explode.