Archive for the ‘date rape’ Category
May 10th, 2006
Dear Straight Talk: Your columns on date rape drugs have really got me going. I have two wonderful sons in middle school and I cannot fathom what type of young man would resort to drugging a young woman’s drink in order to take advantage of her sexually. What is going on here? Has society shrunk this low or are these isolated cases?—Appalled in Newcastle
Dear Appalled: According to high school teens, one in three large parties involve drinks spiked with drugs. In college, it is worse. The phenomenon has increased in the last few years probably due to the ease of making the drugs, and because the amnesia effects of some of the drugs make it difficult for victims to testify. This is why a doctor’s exam and early urine test are essential, not only to protect yourself, but to prove the existence of the drug. (GHB leaves the body within 12 hours. If you think you were drugged collect a sample of your first urine for testing.)
GHB—gamma hydroxyl butyrate—is known for its amnesia effects and is easy and inexpensive to make. There are about 80 nicknames for GHB, including “G” and “Easy Lay”.
For a profile of the type of guy who would spike a girl’s drink, read on.
From Jeff, 22: The guy who spikes drinks with “G”—or any drug—is the same type of guy who beats a woman, who treats a woman as an object. He wants his way with her and doesn’t give an f— about her, or what the drug might do to her.
These drugs can possibly kill her. GHB is essentially a degreaser/floor stripper mixed with drain cleaner. It’s easy to make on the cheap with non-traceable ingredients, or you can buy it pre-made over the internet as it is sold to treat sleep disorders.
With drinks being spiked at parties, there’s no control over the dose or how much alcohol the girl has consumed before she receives the drug. It’s a very dangerous situation. If someone passes out, get them to a hospital immediately. There’s a myth going around with GHB that you’ll sleep it off, but it is absolute foolishness to risk this.
I think date rape drugs have attracted another type of guy, too, the type who sees it as impossible to get laid otherwise. Our society has made guys so under-confident that they don’t see themselves in an attractive light. They’ve been hurt to the point that they’re scared of women. For them, these drugs are a way to get what they want without having to do the personal work.
For additional information about date rape drugs, go to www.projectghb.org.
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May 3rd, 2006
Dear Straight Talk: Regarding your column on date rape drugs, I recently went to a huge party where bottles of hard liquor go around and you drink out of the bottles as they pass. I was talking to this guy and I noticed that he turned his back and dropped a pill into the bottle. By this time I was a little drunk, so when the bottle came to me I drank from it. I didn’t think it could be that big of a deal.
Ten minutes later I had a memory black-out that lasted about two hours. My friends told me I was just dancing in the living room, but then the guy who spiked the drink took me outside and had me pinned against the garage. Luckily for me, my guy friend who was driving (and not drinking) came looking for me and grabbed me away from him.
I know you think I should report the guy who spiked the drink and had me pinned but I don’t know who he was and since nothing actually happened it doesn’t seem called for.—Gina, 15
Dear Gina: It sounds like something would have happened if it wasn’t for your friend checking on you. You were very lucky.
Your avoidance of reporting the incident is common. When it comes to sex, shame and fear continue to rule the female psyche. According to a recent study by Glamour Magazine, 91% of female college students who were date-raped didn’t report it. Date rapists are banking on this mindset—and doing a box-office business. Read on.
Dear Straight Talk: I would like to comment on your column regarding spiked drinks. I think date rape drugs have become common because our generation is into pills. Vicodin, Oxycontin, ecstasy are all popular and now there’s GHB, ketamine, rohypnol, which not only make you loose, but you can’t remember anything. It was the next logical step to add pills to drinks because it’s an easy way for guys to get sex. It doesn’t seem like rape because the girl is practically begging for sex, but it is rape all the same because the drugs cause that behavior.
Most girls won’t turn in the offenders because a lot of them are the so-called “dudes” on campus (often due to their access to drugs), and it would really hurt your social life if you were the one who turned them in.—Mercedes, 18
Dear Mercedes: Wouldn’t it hurt your social life even more if you were raped? How can I make my young readers realize that when you let a crime go unreported, you are assisting the criminal? And why aren’t some of you guys doing the reporting? I’m guessing many of you know exactly who’s supplying the drugs and who’s dropping them into drinks. How would you like your girlfriend, your sister, or one of your best friends to be drugged and raped at a party?
If you fear for your reputation, you can tip the police off anonymously.
Dear Straight Talk: Parties these days are scary. I play it safe and always bring my own drinks, including my own water. There are such great bottled drinks now, like hard lemonade. To bring your own bottle, you’re no longer stuck with the gross taste of beer.—Anonymous, 14
Dear Anonymous: “Alcopops” are what these bottled drinks are called because they are geared to the soda pop crowd. I believe you’ve helped explain the growing demand—especially among girls—for these sweet, fruity drinks sold in six packs. I know you’re trying to be safe, but I hope you switch to bottled water because these “girlie drinks” are a gateway into the YFA club (that stands for young, female and alcoholic), and you seem way too smart for that.
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April 19th, 2006
Dear Straight Talk: I went to a party recently with a friend and this hot guy was flirting with me and we started making out. I had had a couple of drinks but not any more than usual, not enough to black out or anything. At a certain point everything kind of went blank and I don’t remember anything until I woke up at my friend’s house feeling really gross. I don’t even remember her driving us home. My friend thinks they put ecstasy in my drink. Now I’m wondering if I had sex with that guy and don’t remember it. Has this ever happened?—Memory Loss
Dear Memory: More times than I care to think about. Date rape drugs are becoming more common and victims are unable to refuse sex and have no memory of what took place. If this happened to you, it is considered a “drug-facilitated sexual assault”. For your safety, get checked by a doctor immediately. If there are signs of sexual assault, report it to the police. In my opinion, this so-called “hot guy” is a prime suspect and I would take notes on his looks and try to get his name for the police. If he’s innocent, he has nothing to worry about.
The teen staff has more to say. Information on date rape drugs is available at the website below.
From Farren, 18: If you left your cup unattended and you were already slightly inebriated, it is very likely you were drugged. And if you were drugged, it is likely you were raped or sexually assaulted in some way. As for questioning ecstasy, I don’t think that was the drug you were given. Ecstasy causes a euphoric high and is usually associated with an emotionally relaxed and physically exhilarated state.
You should check in at a women’s health clinic to get an exam and get tested for STDs. It could be that you just passed out and nothing happened, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
The next time you go to a party pour your own drinks and keep your drink with you at all times, covering it with your hand. If you set it down, don’t pick it back up and drink it. Just pour yourself a new drink. Also, stay with your friends! It is important to have a buddy system. Keep a cell phone for emergencies, and make sure someone knows where you are in case something happens.
From Geoff, 20: It’s very possible you were raped. It would be best to make an appointment with a local health center to make sure you don’t have STDs or a pregnancy.
From what I’ve seen with my less-than-intelligent college friends, your experience is not a side-effect of extasy. You were probably slipped one of three common date rape drugs, GHB, rohypnol, or ketamine, which have short-term amnesia effects. For more information visit http://www.4woman.gov/faq/rohypnol.htm.
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