June 11th, 2008
DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: I’m a regular reader and am impressed with your panelists. I would like to ask the older ones what advice, looking back, they would give to a high school graduate. Teens don’t necessarily listen to their elders, but they might listen to them. Two of my grandchildren are graduating from high school and I would like to send the column to them.
Auburn
Geoff, 22
What I learned is that adults are just like me. They have the same problems teens have: drugs, sex, relationships, weight, depression, and on. What’s great, though, is that they’ve gone through it and come out okay. They have tons of wisdom to dispense, years of experience to summarize. This is more than a suggestion to talk to your professors/teachers. Socializing with older people is the golden ticket to being successful everywhere: work, college, law school, grad school, LIFE!
Elizabeth, 19
I wasn’t popular in high school. I wasn’t an honor student. I essentially didn’t even have parents. My grandmother and mom kicked me out at age 15, telling me I was worthless, so I worked my way through high school living in a group home. Now look at me: independent, a diploma, a job promotion, helping others through my church, happy with life! I’m living proof that anything is possible if you believe in yourself.
Save money. Many teens don’t realize what it takes to just barely survive. Many friends still live with parents, can’t put gas in their car, are in debt.
Ladies: you’ve heard girls mature faster than guys. It’s true. Don’t give away every speck of your heart in your first relationships, only to be devastated. Let the relationships be stepping stones, teaching you what you are really looking for.
Farren, 20
Leave your drama at home! Move forward, make friends, be proactive. Take a leap of faith! Don’t let insecurities or mistakes get you down, and if you need to change your mind, do it. Don’t let others choose your path. Go into situations with an open mind. Preconceived notions can cause disappointment and failure.
Lennon, 21
Don’t be a cookie-cut person. Do what you want to do, not what others want you to do. I’m not saying ignore your parent’s advice, but it’s your life and you need to think critically and develop your own conclusions. Civilizations developed so we could survive easier, however, today’s materialism has made life extremely stressful. Do what brings you joy and what you need (love, money, friends) will come.
Johannes, 21
I’m a college senior. I play Division I soccer and keep a high GPA. I also party pretty hard. If you’re going to college, the key is balance between work and play. If you love to party, you need to hit the books just as hard and actually go to class. Stay away from white drugs and heavy alcohol use. Keep your body fit. Stay away from relationships that cut you off from what college is for: a place to figure out your boundaries, learn what your body and mind can handle.
Ashley, 20
I graduated and wanted out of this little town. I moved a lot and ended up back here. Now I know this is where I want to be. Follow your heart and trust it will all be okay. If you are somewhere new, reach out and make friends.
Nicole, 18
Most important for me was for family and friends to believe in me.
Peter, 20
Don’t rely exclusively on others. On the other hand, never forget that someone helped you get where you are. All actions have consequences, but don’t let fear rule. Take unexpected changes in stride, they could be for the better. Don’t sweat the small stuff. File your taxes on time. Do the right thing, always.
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March 28th, 2007
Dear Straight Talk: I’m a junior in college studying pre-med. My grandfather was doctor, and three of his children are doctors, my mother being one of them. From a young age I’ve felt the calling, too. At a party recently, a family friend who has known me since birth (also a doctor), pulled me aside and told me I will never make a good doctor, that I’m more cut out for creative fields (my father is a writer). It’s true I clock in extra hours making B’s, while others breeze through, but I’ve always imagined myself a doctor. It’s been a bit of a blow. How do I know if I’m cut out for something?—Will
Dear Will: In the classes I teach for teens, students determine their personality type and match it to career options. When a career matches one’s natural disposition it’s like writing with your preferred hand: it flows. When the career doesn’t match, there is friction. To discover what career you are cut out for, I highly recommend the book, Follow Your True Colors to the Work You Love. Also, with all those doctors in your family, why not follow one of them around for a day and see how you like it?
From Carmen, 20: Explore your talents, learn what excites you. There are many ways to serve people that will match your talents and values. At the same time, if being a doctor turns you on, the struggle to get there will make it all the more rewarding.
From Mary, 16: My mom always told me: don’t shut any doors yet, open some new ones. If you’re passionate about being a doctor then go after it. You can always do something creative on the side.
From Johannes, 20: I’ve wanted to be a lawyer since I was seven. Now, studying pre-law, I know it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but Social Security will be in the dumps soon and I need to establish a solid financial base while I’m young to secure comfort when I am older. Working as an attorney will provide that base. Investing and saving well, I can then venture into areas of more interest and less pay. I feel that changing majors several times or trying different careers will compromise my financial future. I will find happiness through love and family, not necessarily through my work. A close family friend owns a successful law firm and I have an assured job there. I’m lucky to have that opportunity, therefore I will pursue it.
From Lennon, 20: The creative arts are not difficult to try without instruction. Sit down and write, paint, or sculpt something. Give it a shot while you’re studying to be a doctor. If you like one of them, pursue it with a teacher.
From Peter, 19: For the longest time I thought I wanted to teach. Everyone said I was totally cut out for it, but after actually teaching a freshman English class, I realized it wasn’t what I wanted to do. In college, I’ve discovered that my natural aptitude is in linguistics. The exact career is uncertain, but I love the subject matter—and that’s what makes the difference. Why not take a semester of classes that interest you and see what happens?
From Kendal, 20: Don’t let another person tell you what you would or wouldn’t be good at. Only you know that. Ask yourself if being a doctor is something you would enjoy. Have you put expectations on yourself because you come from a doctoring family? Your classes are challenging, but do they spark you and make you want to learn more? Being a student is the perfect time to explore your options. Recent classes stimulated me to change my major. By taking a variety of classes I could see which ones I walked away from wanting to talk about versus those I just walked away from.
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June 14th, 2006
Dear Straight Talk: I have something for the young man who is questioning whether or not to go to college. Three days out of high school I took a summer job as a firefighter. I could have gone to college that fall but money and work were more appealing. I’m 36 now, a captain in the fire department, and I just finished my associate’s degree.
It took me seven years to complete this two-year program.
Every year I tell my seasonal firefighters: Get your four-year degree now. It’s much easier to study and focus on the task at hand before you have a full-time job, kids, a house, and bills to pay.—Captain O’Connor
Dear Captain O’Connor: Congratulations on your degree! It’s never too late to go to college. However, as you’ve pointed out, it’s much easier when you’re young.
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