Zero tolerance: “white drugs” a darker side of dark
Jan 9Dear Straight Talk: My 16-year-old daughter was a great kid until October when she suddenly moved to “the dark side.” She picked up a cigarette habit and began hanging with kids with drug and alcohol problems. She dropped out of soccer, is flunking classes, and moved into her dad’s house where there are no rules. She talked her doctor into giving her Prozac, telling me she is no longer drinking or smoking pot because it won’t be effective, but I found her reeking of pot. I’m there for her when she calls, but she constantly lies about where she is and if she is going to school. I feel used for money and rides. She’s throwing away everything that was positive in her life and I feel powerless and angry. What should I do? — No longer Supermom
From Mary, 17: Your daughter is doing what many teen girls do. She will grow out of it. When she pushes you away, just hold on tighter. She might say she hates you, but she doesn’t. She just wants to live her life.
From Mariah, 16: Don’t give her rides and stop the cash flow. If she is smoking cigarettes and pot then you know where the money is going. Get her tutors and talk with her father. You need to be a team. She may say she hates you and that you are ruining her life, but your actions are in her best interest.
From Shelby, 16: Stop giving her money. If she needs something, buy it for her, but don’t give her cash. This includes lunch money. If she wants lunch, make it for her. You are not forced to drive her anywhere so only drive her to school and maybe the movies or something. If you can, take a vacation with her to get her out of her environment. Transferring schools is another idea. Also, tell her doctor that the Prozac is being misused.
From Bird, 17: I did this same thing only at a younger age. My parents are divorced, too, and my bad behavior only affected my mother as well. She told me to stop, but overall, she knew she couldn’t stop me. She is a single working mother and became exhausted with what I put her through. I know now that she blames herself, and no parent should blame themselves for the choices their teenager makes. Many teens feel this is their golden age to get wasted, have a good time, and forget the rest. But you shouldn’t give her money because you know where it’s going. If your kid has a good head on her shoulders, it should be all right in the end. I know so many teens who have done this and they turn out just fine. But that doesn’t make it any less scary or painful to watch.
Dear Supermom: You heard it from the source: Cut off money and rides and provide for your daughter in other ways. I agree that she will probably return to the light, but there is a darker side of dark out there. Create opportunities to be near her and express your belief in her moral character — AND let her know you will intervene like a hammer if certain lines are crossed. For me, that line is “white drugs” versus “green drugs.” Learn about her world any way you can: talk to her friends, and if possible, view her email, MySpace, or Facebook sites (this is one of those times when snooping is permissible). If alcohol and green drugs (i.e., marijuana) are what she is using, keep a wary eye, but if white drugs turn up (such as meth, cocaine, crack, OxyContin, heroine), intervene hard and fast with help from juvenile authorities if need be. These drugs take people into a darkness very hard to climb out of.
