May 28th, 2008
DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: I’m in tenth grade and I’m sick of being stereotyped by my teachers. No matter what I turn in, I’m pegged as a B student. It all seems to depend on “first impressions” made early in the term. After that, I swear an A and B student could trade papers and the A student would still get their A and the B student would still get their B. I seriously don’t think teachers read beyond the name on the paper. I want to hear what the teen panel has to say and I hope some teachers are reading this, too.
Jack
Katie, 15
I can relate. I’m an A student, but one teacher hated how I dressed so he dropped me from an A to a C for the block. Another teacher constantly accused me of cheating in math if I received 100 percent, so I started missing one problem per paper so I wouldn’t get zeros. Also, an English teacher assigns 10,000-word essays. Most kids slip blank papers in the middle because she grades only the first and last paragraphs. Obviously, she does not read them.
Geoff, 22
Excuse the language, but I always worked my ass off for my A. I went to office hours, lunch hours, email hours. If you feel you’re being short-changed, talk to your professor. Even starting with Ds and Cs (as I did in the beginning of college), if you show commitment to improving (which includes talking to the teacher), you can end up with As.
Laura, 21
If a mediocre student suddenly turns in an outstanding paper, most teachers will give them credit for it; however, the difference between an A and B isn’t that dramatic so they are less likely to notice. Put the hard work in early and make that first impression count. Also, talk to other students, learn what it takes to get an A in that class.
Ashley, 20
This one teacher came up to me and my friend in class (he didn’t like either of us) and said, “One of you is guaranteed to fail!” I was so shocked to hear this! It ended up being me, even though my grades were better.
Emily, 15
Yes, you’re being stereotyped, but it’s based on your attitude, not your work. Have you noticed that all the top students are “friends” with the teachers? Honestly, this is what’s going on. Try it. Raise your hand, ask how you can help, stay after class to push in chairs, smile and ask about his or her day. Life has shown me that a big part of my grade rests upon my relationship with the teacher. If I don’t like the teacher, I don’t work for a close relationship therefore my grade is never an A in that class. Even if I work my butt off (getting help, studying through lunch), my grade stays low. Talk to your teachers, they love it when you get personal with them. One math teacher told me his students rarely approach him because they’re scared of him, so he let me turn in missing homework, raising my grade significantly.
Katrina, 15
Teachers definitely group their students. A lot more is going wrong in the schools than adults realize.
DEAR JACK: So, do you want a revolution? Or do you want As? To get As, re-read Geoff, Laura, and Emily: it’s about working hard, working smart, and using PR skills (which sounds like sucking up, but in reality, “public relations” rule.) If you want to change the system positively, I’m all for it. A high school teacher recently told me that until there are 48 hours in a day, he can’t possibly read his students’ papers. He just slaps a grade on them. A lot really is going wrong in our schools.
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May 21st, 2008
DEAR READERS: As some of you know, I lost my beautiful son, Jarrad, in a motorcycle accident last August. We all lost him. May is Motorcycle Safety Awareness Month. It also marks the beginning of the motorcycle sales season. Popularity of high-performance “sport bikes” has skyrocketed, especially among 18- to 29-year-olds, and rider deaths are at record highs.
My brother, Tom, is dedicated to changing the way motorcycle permits are issued. Below is a speech he gave to the Redding, California chapter of MADD last week.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: My 18-year-old nephew had a fatal motorcycle accident last summer. You may be thinking this accident was due to alcohol. It was not. It was, I believe, due to two things: 1) he was on a sport bike; 2) current licensing rules award motorcycle permits with only a written test.
Who in the audience has noticed sport bikes on the roads? I don’t think this type of motorcycle belongs in traffic, but this is America, sport bikes are legal, and it’s my guess they are here to stay.
The current US motorcycle permit process is deadly. Jarrad’s accident is a textbook example of why our country needs to adopt the “graduated licensing system” proven in other parts of the world to reduce accidents and save lives.
Jarrad Cole was a star basketball player at his high school and was starting college at California Maritime Academy in just two weeks. Jarrad had no motorcycle riding experience. He went to the DMV, took a written test, and was given a motorcycle permit. He then purchased a used 2003 Suzuki GSXR 750. This is an extreme sports bike. It weighs 366 pounds, producing 141 horsepower. In comparison, the 2006 Harley Davidson UCEG weighs 788 pounds and produces 65 horsepower.
Jarrad had the sport bike for 30 minutes; he was practicing in front of his father’s home and was simply shifting from first to second gear. When the clutch released, the bike reared up throwing him into a retaining wall.
Jarrad never regained consciousness. An ambulance rushed him to the hospital where he died minutes later of internal injuries. Jarrad was wearing a helmet at the time of the accident.
The performance of the current generation of sport bikes is completely insane for street use. I remember when I got my learner’s permit at age 15, my Kawasaki 125 made 24 horsepower and weighed 250 pounds. I thought it was pretty fast and I rode it hard. Had it been a 141 horsepower GXSR 750, I’d be long gone. Experienced riders find this bike pretty frightening in performance, and that’s with years of experience.
These bikes are not designed for learning. But because the law allows it, many new riders assume they can handle sport bikes and Jarrad found himself totally unprepared on a machine that accelerates faster than an Enzo Ferrari.
I hope Jarrad’s accident can save lives. Many people want a graduated licensing system, as used in England, making it illegal for new riders to ride powerful sport bikes until first proving themselves, in steps, on lower horsepower bikes.
I appealed to the Yamaha and Kawasaki dealerships in Redding and to Wayne Curtain at Harley Davidson headquarters about supporting a law change. Everyone is very sorry, but no one wishes to get involved. So, here I am talking to you. I hope you can help.
Tom Forcella, Redding CA
Dear Readers: The next step for my brother is MADD national headquarters. As we all know, when MADD gets mad, things happen. If you are a parent like me, who never wants (or wanted) to see my kid on a motorcycle, I hope you will take the time to support the “graduated licensing system” by posting a comment on our website or writing to our mailing address.
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May 14th, 2008
DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: I’m 14 and I have a serious decision to make. My boyfriend of three months is sick with a deathly disease. I have a hard time handling sickness, let alone death, and if this disease takes his life I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it. The more attached I get, the more scared I get, and the more I wonder if we should break up.
HELP!
Katie, 15
When I was 14, the boy I liked had leukemia. We were both interested in each other and in order to not get “too” attached we decided to be close friends. He did pass away, and our closeness was life-changing for both of us. Ask yourself: Can I remain calm enough to stay with him through all possibilities? How hurt will he be if I break up with him?
Beau, 18
My father passed away recently from a terminal illness. His wife left him shortly after he was diagnosed, which devastated him. Stay with your boyfriend and live your lives to the fullest. My father maintained an amazing attitude and taught me that just because death is around the corner, life doesn’t have to stop. When things get rough, think how hard it must be for your boyfriend, or how much worse it would be if you couldn’t see him.
Ashley, 20
It will be really hard if he dies, but it will be harder to break up and pretend like nothing happened. If I did that, I would regret it the rest of my life. Sharing your fears with him will help you feel stronger.
Mariah, 16
My best friend’s dad, who considered me a “daughter” died last year. At first I thought I should distance myself so it wouldn’t be so hard for us. But in the end, I spent as much time as possible with them and this was the best thing to do. I think you’ll end up more depressed if you abandon him than if you stay with him, even if he dies. Just be there and comfort him.
Nicole, 18
I am forever thankful that I spent the time I did with my friend before he died. Stay by his side. He needs you. If you don’t, and he passes, you will only be upset with yourself.
Megan, 19
Feel lucky that you’ve found someone you like who wants to spend his remaining time with you. Take the time you have and do something with it.
Emily, 15
Your boyfriend doesn’t deserve more loss and he will appreciate it if you stay. But that’s a lot to ask of a 14-year-old. If it’s truly too much, you are not being selfish, and he will understand. On the other hand, you have the opportunity to make the rest of his life the best part. And if you leave him and he gets better, you can’t just say, “Ok, let’s date again.”
Callie, 16
Stay with him. He needs to be able to talk to you because he has more on his mind than he can handle. If the tables were turned would you want him to break up with you? Who knows, this experience might help you deal with death more positively.
DEAR HELP: Welcome to Life, the Advanced Course. I know you didn’t mean to sign up, but here you are. I agree with the teen panel that this particular course could be even harder if you drop it. I hope you decide to stick it out, but promise me you’ll enlist support for yourself from a counselor, pastor, wise friend, or adult mentor. You and your boyfriend have chosen each other at this moment in life’s journey and I can’t help but think there’s something huge to be gained for both of you.
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