Straight Talk For Teens By Teens

Watching my friends, I feel extremely fortunate to be raised by parents who understood the reality of underage experimentation. Yet, I have friends who were raised in strict households and they’re on the right track, too. The key lies in trust and communication. Parents can be strict as long as the children can openly communicate with them and know they are loved, mistakes and all. This means parents must practice unconditional parenting, i.e., you set boundaries, but you’re also ready to accept your child’s mistakes.

This throws me back to senior year when I couldn’t tell my dad about my abortion. The big thing is having a trusting relationship with a parent. That person was my mother, whom I lost at age 15. Dad and I did not have that relationship. I feared losing his support, so I would lie. Looking back, something horrible could have happened and no one would have known where I was.

The super-strict, harsh parents have the kids who lie the most and are most out-of-line. My mom always said that if I was honest with her she would trust me. When, at 17, I started using weed and drinking I told her. She told me to call if I ever needed a ride. When I lost my virginity, I told her. She asked about protection. She wasn’t approving, but she was realistic. Because I’m close to my parents, I never had to lie. Their trust helped me keep things in moderation. I’m frustrated by parents who think, “my girl would never have sex,” or “my kid won’t do that stuff’.” Get a clue. Your kid needs you. Don’t condone their experimenting, but realize it’s probably happening.

I lied like a rug to my mother. With my cell phone she couldn’t tell where I was. When she caught on to my lifestyle, it tortured her for awhile. Then she told me she would rather not know the details, she just wanted me to make smart choices, and if I put myself in jail she wouldn’t come get me.

I’d say 98 percent of all teenagers lie to their parents on a regular basis. They’d like to be honest but they can’t because their parents will get angry. My parents were nonjudgmental and understanding and I told them everything. They never got mad or told me not to do it again. They had faith in me.

When someone is strong in their beliefs on religion and sexuality there is generally no getting through. But some people spout off in an effort to convince themselves that something is true. Give her another chance. Tell her you admire her for knowing exactly what she believes in but that it hurts to have your brother insulted.

I have a gay uncle and I hear talk about gays that I don’t think is moral. Which brings up the debate: “Who is morally correct?” Stay true to your heart. Don’t let this girl, who is most likely influenced by her parents, get into your head.

Your friend probably has never even had a conversation with a gay person and is just repeating what her family and others have told her. Even though people like this are extremely upsetting, stay calm and just say simple things. Yelling at her will make things worse.

Many of my friends don’t like gays. It bothers me, but they were brought up this way. Frankly, I’d tell her she shouldn’t care what other people do in the bedroom.

My dad and brothers have always been homophobic. The irony is we have two gay uncles in the family and they never speak ill of them and rarely mention their sexuality. Once you know someone their sexuality doesn’t top the characteristic list. Don’t get sucked into a debate, just tell her to forget the prayers because you’re not worried.

NOTHING! People like this will only quote the Bible and refuse to admit error. Create a slick surface so their remarks slide off.

I get so mad when people bring God into it. In the Bible, God says He loves everyone and that it’s not our place to judge others.

Religious nuts are always going to think it’s a mortal sin to be gay. The Pope recently stated that gay marriage was one of the factors responsible for the delay in world peace. Could he be blinded by the “Light?”

Much depends on where you live. I live in upstate New York and the gay community gets a lot of respect. But in the Bible Belt you meet the most conservative people. They are missing the point of love. In the next generation I bet anyone will be able to marry the one they love, male or female.

Everyone has the right to their point of view. I am bisexual and my father hates lesbians, gays and bisexuals. Thus, my mother knows and he doesn’t. I hear people talk and I just let it roll off my shoulders.

It’s not for us to judge your friend, and it’s not for your friend to judge your brother. All you can control is how you handle someone’s judgment.

There is nothing controversial about basic human decency and the belief in true equality.

Paying child support will never make up for a guy deciding he wants nothing to do with raising his child. Abiding by a law that protects mothers from complete poverty is different than being there. Also, many fathers do not pay child support. I’m not saying every father must stand by his child no matter what, but seriously, how is it not easier for them to run away? They aren’t carrying the child in their womb, they aren’t responsible for delivering the child, breastfeeding the child, raising the child — or making the painful decision of abortion or adoption. Both parties are involved in pregnancy and both have consequences. There should be no finger pointing. Both need to be responsible for safe sex, whether that’s wearing a condom or using birth control. Nothing should be left to the other. As for Spears and Lohan, women have been sexually repressed for decades! Men can sleep around and that’s a normal thing; when girls do it they’re “sluts.” Dual standard you say?

He made the choice to have sex and knows the consequences just as much as she does.

I don’t know one girl who idolizes Paris, Britney, or Lindsay. To see where they are now is truly shocking. We remember Britney in her pigtails and now she has two babies and is in rehab. It is sad that these girls make more news then the real issues.

I’m supposed to believe that every girl who has a sexual relationship, and/or who is considering an abortion, is automatically a girl who dresses provocatively, watches mindless TV, worships the celebrities you mentioned, and deserves the situation she’s in? Give me a break.

I was taught to believe that abortion is awful and should not be allowed. After losing my mom, I looked to a boyfriend for comfort and I got pregnant. I was 17 and to this day I haven’t told my family. I was not using birth control. Dumb, I know, but I was scared my dad would find it. Some friends looked down on me for my decision, but my boyfriend and I knew we weren’t capable of raising a baby and I knew how upset my family would be if I followed it through. Maybe it was selfish, but I also wanted to go to college and pursue my career. I thought I’d be with my boyfriend forever, he’d even proposed to me. Six months after our ordeal we broke up. He was seeing another girl! Can you imagine being eight months pregnant with no family support and no boyfriend?

When a girl has an abortion she is not necessarily running away because it sticks in her mind forever. Britney and Paris? Guys watch them, too, and have higher expectations and put pressure on girls to be “hot chicks.” It’s a two-way street.