November 28th, 2007
Dear Straight Talk: I was just telling another shopping-challenged individual that each year you run a list of what teenagers want for the holidays. Could you do that again? I am not in touch with their world and your column is how I know what’s going on. — Thanks
Dear Thanks: You’re welcome. Here are some great ideas direct from the source. This year, we have included favorite books. A word to the wise: ask the teenager you are shopping for to provide you a list, that way you can hit the mark. In return, give that teenager your list of $5 to $20 items, along with some chores or tasks you’d like done, so they have a chance to hit the mark, too. If we’re going to spend money on the Holidays — and most of us do — let’s not buy more stuff for the landfill.
From Geoff, 21: Indispensable for high school and college students are USB sticks, two-gig minimum ($10 to $20 online). Personally, I’d like the Intuos Digital Art Pad ($300) and Asus EEE laptop (small, Linux-powered, $400). The Nintendo Wii remains a top gift as does anything from the tech “wish list” at www.wired.com.
From Bird, 17: I’ve asked for a sound system for my car. My grandparents always buy me stuff I can’t use or can’t stand — I don’t tell them, of course — so this year, I requested money for my trip to California.
From Shelby, 16: I would like earrings, makeup, brightly-colored socks, a fun blanket and pillows, a romantic comedy DVD, flowers from an admirer.
From Betsy, 19: I’m asking for money so I can go to Europe.
From Sawyer, 16: I need the basics: socks, underwear, sweat pants, hoodie. Also would like a computer microphone so I can talk online, an inexpensive iPod, and a Panini sandwich griddle.
From Jennifer, 13: I want a grey pea coat, sweat pants, shirts from Wet Seal.
From Kendal, 20: I’d love a GPS system for my car, Sopranos and Gilmore Girls DVD sets, and “Oblivion: Game of the Year” (an X-box 360 game). For clothes, I love gift certificates so I can buy what I like. Returning clothes is difficult, especially without receipts.
From Julian, 15: I am hoping to receive money to travel to Ecuador.
From Laura 21: I would like a silver iPod Nano, car seat covers, white or blush cashmere scarf and gloves from Macy’s, gift certificates to American Eagle, American Apparel, J. Crew, Victoria’s Secret, Nordstrom, Barnes & Noble, Origins, Whole Foods, or for pedicure, manicure, or massage.
From Lennon, 21: Cool T-shirts, new tennis shoes, mattress topper and duvet cover.
From Mariah, 15: I want a cell phone, recordable CDs, clothes, money.
From Megan, 18: I love things that are meaningful and come from the heart no matter what they are. Parents don’t always know what you want, but it’s nice that they try.
FAVORITE BOOKS:
Girls’ List: The Giver (Lowry), Pride and Prejudice (Austin), Echo (Block), Wheel of Time (Jordan), Unbearable Lightness of Being (Kundera), Madame Bovary (Flaubert), Jitterbug Perfume (Robbins), What If? (Cowley), His Dark Materials (Pullman), Poppy (and other Avi books), The Color of Water (McBride), Five People You Meet In Heaven (Albom), Me Talk Pretty One Day (Sedaris), The Da Vinci Code (Brown), Down the Long Hills (L’Amour), Harry Potter. Comics: Zits.
Guys’ List: Power of One (Courtenay), The Book Thief (Zusak), Wheel of Time (Jordan), Story Like the Wind (van der Post), Redwall (Jacques), Song of Ice And Fire (Martin), The World According to Garp (Irving), Villa Incognito (and others by Robbins), Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings. Comics: Zits, Calvin & Hobbes, Get Fuzzy, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (Miller), Watchmen (Moore), The Sandman (Gaiman), Astro City (Busiek).
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November 21st, 2007
Dear Readers: Last week the teen panel and I responded to “Call me square” who complained that all her daughter’s friends dressed like hookers for Halloween. She then asked if Halloween was where girls began training to be strippers as she’d heard that one in 22 girls works as a one. To my young readers — and those young at heart — you will be happy to know that I roundly defended Halloween (Halloween is when you’re supposed to dress up! Thank heaven a little steam gets vented once a year on this unique day), and Brittney of the teen panel rightly called bull on the rumor that 5 percent of the female population strips for a living. Nonetheless, “Call me square” hit a nerve that has nothing to do with Halloween and today we will respond to that.
I often hear 18 and 19-year-olds say things like, “little kids these days are growing up too fast,” or, “that 9-year-old dresses like a slut,” or, “that first-grader watches too many R-rated movies.” Older teens feel the end of childhood sharply, and many worry about the continuous and rapid shrinkage of childhood and how its loss will affect the future. They look at the commercial media, they look at their parents’ generation, who either creates that media or doesn’t shield their offspring from it, and they shake their heads. I hope this column is a wake up call because if raising kids was a 4H project, we wouldn’t make it to the fair.
From Betsy, 19: Kids are growing up way too fast. The media influences what young girls perceive as “cool.” They see singers, actresses and models wearing next to nothing and they see the reaction it has on boys. Their insecurity kicks in and they feel mature and confident in outfits that make older generations want to faint. This Halloween I was appalled to see girls walking around in their underwear! I asked one girl what she was and she replied, “I’m a Victoria Secret model.” I felt a little foolish in my ghost costume but I think she felt more foolish when she saw my shock of disgust.
From Elizabeth, 18: The style for girls these days is tight-fitting, revealing, and sexy. And it’s not only on Halloween that girls dress this way. When I go to clothing stores I’m appalled at the clothing for children as young as three. I read an article that described young girls dressed in the latest fashions as “prostitots.” It’s a trend set by Lindsey, Brittany and Paris, and its popularity is growing at an extreme rate.
From Lennon, 21: With clothing trends for females moving closer and closer to being virtually naked, I would think girls would enjoy putting some clothes on for a change. This Halloween many girls told me in advance they were dressing as hookers, then when I saw them in costume, I thought, “Is that a wig or did she dye her hair? Oh, she’s got some fuzzy little rope-thing twirled around her neck. But other than that, yep, seen all those clothes before.” And for 13-year-olds to be dressing like this?! What happened to being Snow White? Or a witch? You could go as Hermione for crying out loud! The problem is the media. Nonetheless, if my future 13-year-old daughter tried to dress as a slut for Halloween, I’d say “Well, this evening is going to be a real treat because we are going to sit down and watch a nice old movie called Jack the Ripper. And believe me dear, you’ll have to get into some clothing darn quick to change my mind!”
Children are growing up too quickly. The solution? Ship all the stupid adults to Mars and start over. Or get them to recognize that childhood is worth more than their quarterly sales.
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November 14th, 2007
Dear Straight Talk: What’s with all the slutty Halloween costumes? My 13-year-old’s friends all dressed like hookers. My daughter was in a Renaissance outfit and was furious with me because she felt “stupid” at the middle school dance. She’s still mad at me! Don’t the girls care that they look like prostitutes? I heard that one out of 22 girls works as a stripper these days. Is Halloween where they start training for the profession? — Call me square
Dear Square: You’re traveling on thin ice to mess with Halloween, the favorite holiday of youth. I remember 18 years ago seeing a lot of serial killer costumes, and I thought, wow, is this how people are inoculating themselves against the demons of society? I suspect that today’s costumes provide a similar vaccine for young women whose parents, ironically, bottle-fed them, through the commercial media, on sex. I’ll let the panelists speak for themselves, but between me and you, none are training to be strippers. Next week, I’ll feature additional teen comments that address your concerns more deeply.
From Laura, 21: It’s fun on Halloween to wear revealing clothes and an obscene amount of makeup. If you do that any other time people will peg you as a slut and give you dirty looks. I was a German barmaid this year, but I don’t aspire to be one! The girls who wear slutty costumes have no intention of being prostitutes. Consider allowing your daughter to dress how she wants on Halloween — it’s the most harmless time for her to do it. Plus, a little bit of freedom can go a long way toward preventing rebellion.
From Brittney, 19: One out of 22 girls works as a stripper? That’s a load of bull. Most towns don’t even have strip clubs, and even those that do, they aren’t all over town unless maybe it’s Vegas. At Halloween, girls don’t want to be strippers or prostitutes, they just want to look attractive and fit in. But why would you want to be an ugly witch when you can be a hot witch? It’s sad that Halloween has turned into dressing down instead of dressing up, but if girls want to freeze their butts off in their “hooker” outfits, who cares? However, for a girl of only 13, keep her in her Renaissance outfit. She might hate you, but at least she’ll be warm.
From Nicole, 18: Halloween is a time when girls can show off their stuff without getting in trouble or being looked down upon. This year I was an extremely slutty cowgirl and boy, was it fun! Since I started high school, I’ve always dressed up as a little skank. Don’t get angry, we are just having a good time!
From Mary, 17: SEX SELLS! Girls think it’s cool to dress like that; they are getting the guys to look at them. Everyone does it. Your daughter and her friends are not going to grow up to be strippers. Just relax.
From Justine, 14: At my age, one clique is desperate for boys and thinks they will love them if they dress up as sexy policewoman in three-inch shorts. Then there are the rest of us who still like to dress up “for Halloween.”
From Bird, 17: I couldn’t believe how slutty everything was when I was shopping for a costume! I bought this sexy “mad hatter” costume but instead of fishnets and heels, I toned it down with leggings and flats. The hat said “420/69” on it, so I made the “6” an “8.” To think Halloween is going to make girls strippers is absurd. This is one day a year girls get to do this, and it’s fun to do “pimps and hos.” It’s a new era, we may look the part, we may use those words, but we don’t live it.
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