Archive for March, 2007
March 28th, 2007
Dear Straight Talk: I’m a junior in college studying pre-med. My grandfather was doctor, and three of his children are doctors, my mother being one of them. From a young age I’ve felt the calling, too. At a party recently, a family friend who has known me since birth (also a doctor), pulled me aside and told me I will never make a good doctor, that I’m more cut out for creative fields (my father is a writer). It’s true I clock in extra hours making B’s, while others breeze through, but I’ve always imagined myself a doctor. It’s been a bit of a blow. How do I know if I’m cut out for something?—Will
Dear Will: In the classes I teach for teens, students determine their personality type and match it to career options. When a career matches one’s natural disposition it’s like writing with your preferred hand: it flows. When the career doesn’t match, there is friction. To discover what career you are cut out for, I highly recommend the book, Follow Your True Colors to the Work You Love. Also, with all those doctors in your family, why not follow one of them around for a day and see how you like it?
From Carmen, 20: Explore your talents, learn what excites you. There are many ways to serve people that will match your talents and values. At the same time, if being a doctor turns you on, the struggle to get there will make it all the more rewarding.
From Mary, 16: My mom always told me: don’t shut any doors yet, open some new ones. If you’re passionate about being a doctor then go after it. You can always do something creative on the side.
From Johannes, 20: I’ve wanted to be a lawyer since I was seven. Now, studying pre-law, I know it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but Social Security will be in the dumps soon and I need to establish a solid financial base while I’m young to secure comfort when I am older. Working as an attorney will provide that base. Investing and saving well, I can then venture into areas of more interest and less pay. I feel that changing majors several times or trying different careers will compromise my financial future. I will find happiness through love and family, not necessarily through my work. A close family friend owns a successful law firm and I have an assured job there. I’m lucky to have that opportunity, therefore I will pursue it.
From Lennon, 20: The creative arts are not difficult to try without instruction. Sit down and write, paint, or sculpt something. Give it a shot while you’re studying to be a doctor. If you like one of them, pursue it with a teacher.
From Peter, 19: For the longest time I thought I wanted to teach. Everyone said I was totally cut out for it, but after actually teaching a freshman English class, I realized it wasn’t what I wanted to do. In college, I’ve discovered that my natural aptitude is in linguistics. The exact career is uncertain, but I love the subject matter—and that’s what makes the difference. Why not take a semester of classes that interest you and see what happens?
From Kendal, 20: Don’t let another person tell you what you would or wouldn’t be good at. Only you know that. Ask yourself if being a doctor is something you would enjoy. Have you put expectations on yourself because you come from a doctoring family? Your classes are challenging, but do they spark you and make you want to learn more? Being a student is the perfect time to explore your options. Recent classes stimulated me to change my major. By taking a variety of classes I could see which ones I walked away from wanting to talk about versus those I just walked away from.
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March 21st, 2007
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 17 and I’m doing a report on the HPV vaccine. This is the new vaccine for human papilloma virus, a sexually transmitted disease that can cause both genital warts and cervical cancer. Since HPV is only contagious through sex, the vaccine is controversial. What do you and the girls on your panel think? Do you want this vaccine to be mandatory for seventh grade girls, or simply available for the families that want it and can afford the $360 price tag?—“Kelly,” Folsom High
Dear “Kelly”: I’m glad you asked. HPV is so common that just about everyone who has ever had sex—or come close—has had it at one point or another. There are 40 strains of HPV that are passed through all forms of sexual activity, including non-invasive activities such as body rubbing and mutual masturbation. Condoms don’t always help because HPV can be anywhere in the genital area.
HPV usually has no symptoms and most strains are harmless, including those that cause genital warts. However, 9700 American girls and women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer this year due to the nastier strains. The vaccine protects against two HPV strains that cause 70 percent of cervical cancer and two that cause 90 percent of genital warts. The vaccine is most effective if administered before a girl is sexually active.
In my opinion, society should welcome a tested vaccine that helps prevent the spread of cancer. Cancer is different than mumps or chicken pox. Because HPV is pervasive at all levels of society, the only way to manage it is through a mandatory campaign. With an opt-out clause for those who don’t want it, it seems senseless to derail this medical breakthrough for political reasons.
Like you, two on the teen staff are using an alias:
From Farren, 19: I’m sorry, but how is the vaccine controversial? Seventy-five percent of 18 to 25-year olds have been exposed to the virus. Should we, as a society, disregard their safety entirely, punishing them with an STD that can cause cervical cancer?
If the vaccine is limited to only those who can afford it, we are further renegotiating all women’s safety and condoning a sexually uneducated society. Those who can’t afford the vaccine are the same people who can’t afford annual pap exams—which increases their odds of developing cervical cancer. There is absolutely no moral argument that would keep such a vaccine from the masses.
From “Krystal,” 18: I’ve had HPV in the form of genital warts, which I had frozen off, so I think the vaccine is a good idea. My only concern is that by making it mandatory, we won’t learn of long-term side effects until many people are inoculated.
From “McKenna,” 20: I abhor the controversy over the HPV vaccine. People think it will make girls more sexually promiscuous? Give me a break. How you raise your child determines that. Girls are going to have sex when they feel ready—with or without the shots. I was 18 and in love before I felt ready. Is that being promiscuous? My boyfriend’s STD test was negative for HPV, so we didn’t know he had it. When I contracted HPV from him, the cervical cancer strain, I was devastated and felt like a tramp.
We finally have a vaccine that can help prevent cancer and people are worried about promiscuity? So, when we have a vaccine for HIV, does this mean millions will continue getting AIDS because a few political groups pretend that people don’t have sex? These narrow-minded views are writing the death certificates of people who unknowingly contract HPV and don’t have health coverage. I’m lucky I can see a gynecologist every year to make sure my system is not getting covered with cancer. What about all the people who don’t have this coverage, aren’t promiscuous, but are still contracting HPV because 80 percent of all sexually active people have it?
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March 14th, 2007
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 16 and I’ve been going out with “Daniel” for seven months. We get along really well. We say we love each other and he makes me smile even if I’m having a bad day. We live three hours apart and see each other a lot on the weekends, but during the week his sister has her friends over and I worry that he will get together with one of them. I am confused to the point that I wonder whether to stay with him or not. I talked to him about it and he said that there is nothing to worry about, that he loves me and always will. How can I tell if he is being faithful to me? Please pass this along to your teen panel. Many thanks.—Callie, North Carolina
Dear Callie: How do we know if our partner is being faithful? This question has been asked through the ages by both males and females alike. For your situation, I can’t improve on the advice given by the teen panel.
From Mary, 16: I think you are overreacting. You have to trust him, that’s part of being in a relationship. If he says there is nothing to worry about and that he loves you, then believe him. If you can’t believe him, then don’t be with him. It’s that simple. A relationship is based not only on love, you have to have understanding and trust as well. So trust him, take that leap of faith in him.
From Farren, 19: Unless there are problems in your relationship that you didn’t mention, the only issue is your insecurity. You have taken the first steps in fixing that by communicating your concern to your partner. Yet, he says there is no reason to worry and that he loves you. Trust is very important in a relationship and if he hasn’t given you a reason to distrust him, tell him you just need reassurance. Jealousy is common when other women enter the picture, so I believe he will understand.
I am also in a long-distance relationship and behaviors that make me feel secure can be very small, such as a phone call or text message.
From Elizabeth, 18: I’ve been faithful to my long-distance boyfriend for two years but we’ve had rough spots concerning other girls. One girl in particular had been his friend for four years before we met. They worked together every year at a summer camp for kids. During our first summer together she was constantly dropping hints that she was interested despite the fact that he was seeing me. He finally quit the camp and refused her calls so as not to jeopardize our relationship. Whenever I have my doubts, I think about times like that and know my boyfriend will do the right thing. So, if your boyfriend says he loves you and he hasn’t done anything to make you suspicious, just give him room and trust him. Don’t let your doubts push him away.
From Shelby, 15: If you want a guy to stay with you here are my rules: Don’t go out with a guy who bounces from girl to girl. Make sure you can carry on a conversation with him—to stay together, the relationship needs to be intellectual, too. Treat him with the same respect that you want.
From Hannah, 15: There aren’t specific behaviors that make a girl (or guy) feel secure. Anything can make you jealous if you let it. For example, seeing the comment, “Had fun last weekend!” on your boyfriend’s MySpace page can make you automatically assume he is cheating. My point is this: if you are programmed to assume the worst, then nothing your boyfriend can say or do will change your mind.
From Lennon, 20: Don’t begin doubting your boyfriend’s faithfulness unless you have good reason to. When people get suspicious they tend to stop talking. A relationship with stunted communication is like a butterfly without wings. It will flounder and die.
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