To ease out of friendship, let ‘er drift
Jan 11Dear Straight Talk: I have a friend who I’d rather not be friends with anymore. It’s not that anything happened, I just don’t care to hang around her anymore. But how do I get this across? She assumes we are friends and I can’t figure out how to NOT be friends without hurting her feelings. Do I write her a letter? Do I just avoid her?—Stuck in the mud
Dear Stuck: As the truckers say, “Let ‘er drift”. On a flat stretch right before a long downgrade, truckers lay off the gas in order to cool their brakes for the downhill ahead. This flat stretch in a friendship is a good time to coast, no gas, no brakes, definitely no letter bombs.
Phone calls are returned, but not with lightening speed. When you are on the phone, you can’t talk long. The mood is polite, you express care, but lack enthusiasm. Ditto for email and texting. At school, different routes are taken, interruptions happen (a phone call needs to be made, a book returned), most invitations are respectfully declined.
Friendships naturally ebb and flow and what’s nice about the “Let ‘er drift” approach is that the door is open to drift back in.
