October 25th, 2006
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 45 and I smoke two packs of cigarettes a day. I started when I was 14 and it’s a habit I’ve never been able to kick. Now I’ve got the cardiovascular system of a 65-year-old. I hope you will tell your readers to vote yes on Proposition 86 which will increase the cigarette tax. They say the high cost of buying cigarettes will prevent 700,000 children from picking up this miserable habit and will prompt 500,000 smokers to quit.—Sigh of relief
Dear Relief: It’s my turn to sigh. A 300 percent increase in the cigarette tax will make cigarettes in California cost about $6.50 a pack. Sound prohibitive? Yes, if you’re shopping in stores. I don’t know when you were last on a public high school campus, but the black market is incredible. You can purchase any illegal drug you want, often within minutes. Because 80 percent of all smokers start before they graduate from high school—and because the average starting age is between 13 and 14—young kids who are lighting up are going to be exposed to a lot more than cigarettes. For this reason I think Proposition 86 is flawed. I would prefer the government sell youth on non-smoking the same way all things are successfully sold, using advertising and sponsored role models.
If you’re serious about quitting, see a hypnotherapist. It works, and there are no withdrawal symptoms.
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October 25th, 2006
Dear Straight Talk: You advised “Wants love not sex”, the 16-year-old girl who is pregnant by her boyfriend, to go to her parents and her boyfriend’s parents for support. But what if her boyfriend doesn’t actually love her? And what if those parents are mean? I’m now 25 years old and I got pregnant when I was 15 with my first boyfriend. He and his family pretended I no longer existed, and my own family, without laying a finger on me, made me feel so ashamed that I ended up running away, eventually giving the baby up for adoption. I still feel the shame, the heartache, the sadness of giving my baby away. No girl should have to tell anybody she’s pregnant if her instincts tell her not to.—Older and sadder
Dear Older and Sadder: I’m deeply sorry for the heartlessness and loss you suffered. I advised “Wants love not sex” to tell her parents only if she felt safe—which includes emotional safety. In 80 percent of teen pregnancies, going to parents is the ideal scenario and I can’t recommend it highly enough, but because of the 20 percent of cases like yours—where girls are in unhealthy, unaccepting, or violent family situations, I don’t support laws that interfere with a young woman’s right to privacy.
Finding peace will not be easy, but it is possible—and you do deserve it. If you’re not seeing a counselor, please contact the county mental health clinic where you live. They offer sliding scales depending on your income.
I also hope you find solace in the letter below.
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October 25th, 2006
Dear Straight Talk: I’m writing to the girl who is 16 and pregnant. I want to let her know that adoption is a solution if she is unable to care for her baby. I am adopted and I have never met my birth mother. Still, I have a wonderful family that loves me no more or no less than she. She knew she couldn’t provide for me so she went to a private adoption agency. Private agencies let you get to know prospective parents and you can choose from many couples wanting to adopt. My birth mother chose my parents for me before I was born—and they traveled a great distance to receive me. That shows love on both sides.—K.J., 13
Dear K.J.: Thank you for writing. Your letter has helped doubly today.
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