July 26th, 2006
Dear Readers: Two weeks ago I printed letters in defense of video gaming. Today the other side has the floor.
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 17 and I suspect that the people who wrote in favor of video games have been gaming from such a young age that they can’t really compare how they would be without it.
I know the difference because I grew up media free. Then, at age 14, my brothers and I were given unlimited access to Xbox and computer games and we became hugely addicted.
Two years later, I got off it. It was a struggle because my life revolved around it, but I forced myself. My brothers, however, kept playing non-stop. They both had huge personality shifts. My older brother used to be very social and now he’s not. He gets annoyed easily and has no motivation. My younger brother used to be calm and steady and now he’s wound up and angry.
My dad refused to set limits. Then I found Dr. Mori’s research on “game brain”, about how gaming two to seven hours a day causes loss of beta wave activity in the front brain—resulting in anger, lack of concentration, and socialization issues—exactly what my brothers had.
It woke my dad up and he has declared a full moratorium on computer games. He removed the Xbox controls and took away the keyboard to the computer.—Folsom
Dear Straight Talk: I was a computer game addict for three years. When I look back, it was like being dead. It does affect you, regardless of what the game addicts like to say.—Been there, UC Davis
Dear Straight Talk: Since my brothers got an Xbox two years ago, I hardly see them. “Joe” who is 15, plays a lot of violent games and he is always angry. “Zach” who is 17, plays the same games and it doesn’t make him angry, but he used to always have friends over and now he doesn’t. It’s like living in a before-and-after picture. I wish my parents would set rules so my brothers could go back to the “before” and be themselves again.—“Emma”, 13
Dear Straight Talk: Computer games are fun, but I know they’re bad for me. I get snappy when I play a lot. It’s partly from staying up too late and eating garbage, but I used to have lots of ideas and energy and now I can’t think of anything except gaming.—Age 15
Dear Straight Talk: I suppose computer games are an outlet for kids, as two letters defending video games stated, but alcohol and drugs are outlets, too, and I no more support kids frying their brains on computer games than I do letting them fry on drugs and booze. I’m a high school teacher and it’s not hard to identify the kids who do a lot of gaming. Remove this medium and kids will seek healthy outlets like athletics, politics, art, music, drama.—No name please
Dear Straight Talk: My son, “Nick”, started playing video games at 12. By the time he was 15 he hardly did anything else. His grades had dropped, he was fidgety and rude and had developed an anger problem.
I do honestly believe video games were responsible for my son’s change in behavior—it was not just an easy thing to blame, as one letter in favor of video games suggested.
While Nick was showering, I came through his room looking for laundry. Instead of dirty socks, I threw his computer into the basket and dumped it into the deep end of the pool.—M.L., Auburn
Dear Straight Talk: I handled the problem by throwing my sons’ Nintendo out the window and down the hill.—Cathy, Lincoln
Dear Readers: There really are 50 ways! Thank you all for writing.
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July 19th, 2006
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 16 and I don’t know what to do. I’m in love with my best friend’s boyfriend and I think he’s in love with me. Last night we were at a party and he took me aside and kissed me. He’s already called me twice today talking about how he can’t stop thinking about me and how things aren’t so great with “Mary”. I’ve always liked him, but for the sake of my friendship with Mary I’ve never made any moves. Now I’m totally confused and don’t know how to handle this without losing a friend. What do people do in cases like this?—Help!
Dear Help: If you go forward, figure on losing your friend for sure. Maybe you gain the guy, maybe you don’t, that’s a roll of the dice—but if you do get him, figure on never being able to trust him.
Best friends are hard to come by. Guys you can’t trust are on every corner—or in this case, at every party. I recommend you shake off the fairy dust and tell Mary’s boyfriend you’re not interested in a relationship for obvious reasons.
Here’s more from the teen staff:
From Brittney, 18: I have seen this situation many times and have gone through something similar myself. To get right to the point, don’t pursue it. Your friend will be hurt, and I have never found a guy who is worth losing a friend over, especially a best friend.
From Farren, 18: Any guy who cheats on his girlfriend with her best friend honestly isn’t the type of guy someone should date. If it happened to Mary, it can happen to you. I think you should let your love interest go, let Mary know what happened, and try to redeem yourself to her any way you possibly can.
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July 19th, 2006
Dear Straight Talk: Your advice to wear sunglasses couldn’t be more right on. Recently you warned teenagers about the dangers of too much sun, not just for the skin, but for the eyes, too.
I strongly disliked sunglasses and for years refused to wear them, especially when speaking to another person. There is something about looking another human in the eye that was more important than “hiding” behind sunglasses.
I’ve just been diagnosed with pterygium, a “common” eye problem resulting from overexposure to UV rays. It is a fatty tissue that forms on the surface of the eye trying to protect the eye.
At this point, the condition is in the white of my eye and is both uncomfortable and unattractive. Even if I go through the process of having it scraped off and replaced with healthy eye tissue, there is a high chance of reoccurrence. In other words, fixing the condition isn’t a simple or sure-fire thing.
While my eye doctor, who is about my age, was telling me this, I said, “What’s that in your eye?” “The same thing,” she said. I’ve since noticed my younger brother has it, too.
I never knew how much I liked how my eyes looked until now that they don’t look so good. It’s not pretty. See for yourself at http://www.stlukeseye.com/Conditions/Pterygium.asp.
I’m only 37, and for all you teens reading this, that isn’t very old.—Wear sunglasses!
Dear Sunglasses: It certainly isn’t. I appreciate you sharing your experience. You’ve put the word out like nobody else could.
Ultraviolet rays from the sun are reaching the earth in greater amounts than ever and wearing sunglasses outdoors, even when socializing, is the appropriate thing to do. Take them off briefly during introductions to make eye-contact but put them back on until you step indoors or into the shade.
Another solution is to buy lightly-tinted sunglasses that offer full UV protection, but allow your eyes to be seen.
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