Straight Talk For Teens By Teens

No hitting girls, no hitting boys either

Dear Straight Talk: I’m a seventh grade boy and though I’m smaller than a lot of girls in my class, I am considered tough and a lot of girls think it’s okay to hit me. My complaint is that girls don’t get in trouble for hitting boys, but boys get in trouble for hitting girls.

I’ve had girls punch me or kick me and when I say something to the teachers, they brush it off. I’ve even had teachers make fun of me. Sure, I could take out the girl, but I don’t. But do they think it doesn’t hurt when they hit me? Do they think it’s okay for girls to hit me just because I’m a guy? If I did to a single girl what at least five girls have done to me, I would be expelled on the spot. What can be done about this?—Fed up with the unfairness

You found a kindred spirit on the teen staff:

Dear Fed up: I know exactly what you’re talking about. It’s annoying to have half the population allowed to hit you. Since fifth grade, I have been hit by girls at least ten times. Usually it’s pretty harmless, but twice this year I was kicked hard in the shins by “Big Bruise” (which refers to how my shin looked, not her), and she didn’t get in trouble at all. Had I done that to her, I would have been suspended. Nobody should be allowed to hit and consequences should be equal.—Kyle, 14

Dear Fed up: Yes, it’s considered very bad form for boys to hit girls—and always will be, because as you’ve noted, boys are generally stronger and more aggressive than girls.

But nobody should be hitting anybody. And bravo to both of you for not hitting back. Consequences for hitting should be equal regardless of gender.

Since you’re not getting help from the teacher, do what the pros do. When a professional has a grievance—in your case, a male professional—he documents it. This is the modern version of “taking it like a man.” Which means, you don’t have to take it, you just have to do the right paper-work.

Each time a girl strikes you, write down the date, time, names, and exactly what happened. If there are witnesses, have them write an account, too, or at least sign and date yours. When you report the incident to the teacher, document his or her response. If the incident is brushed off, take this approach up the chain of command starting with the principal, then the school board, then the superintendent’s office.

You’ll want to limit yourself to the “harmful” variety of hitting—as opposed to the playful. You don’t want to put school playgrounds in the same quandary as the professional world, where abuses of harassment suits keep everyone on eggshells.