If all else fails, change your hairstyle
Apr 13Dear Straight Talk: How do you get over somebody? I’m 17 and I met a fantastic guy last year who was summering here. He saw me he like nobody else has ever done and I completely fell for him. I’m still not over him and would like to move on since he’s obviously not going to be in my future. How do you “unhook” yourself from someone? He lives in my mind all the time.—K.L.
Dear K.L.: Tell him to get out. Then throw all his belongings on the sidewalk.
I know. You wish it was that easy. This is one of those mental dead-ends we keep driving down whether we want to or not. There are some tricks to de-program yourself.
One way is to create a new mental picture of yourself. Shut your eyes and visualize the “new you”, the you that is “unhooked” and feeling great. See yourself in a situation where these great feelings radiate all through your body. You should be smiling at this point. Keep this picture handy and whenever the old feelings come up, switch your focus to this new picture. It will set your mind traveling in a new direction.
One more thing: You said, “He saw me like nobody else has ever done…” You’ve identified the gift of the relationship and you don’t want to throw this out with the bathwater. It’s this gift that makes you want to keep his memory alive. Take the time to “see” others as you were seen. What you give comes back.
If all else fails, change your hair style. This is the chicken-soup remedy sworn over the centuries. Why does it work? It helps change that picture of yourself.
