Archive for November, 2005
November 30th, 2005
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 17 and I don’t drink or do drugs and I am amazed at all the teens (and adults) that do. I can’t figure out the attraction and am wondering if anyone else has.—Drug-free
Dear Drug-free: There’s a small but growing “straight edge” movement of drug-and-alcohol-free youth that share your feelings. I like the name, because there is a definite “edge” to being straight. There’s nothing artificial to numb you or separate you from who you are. You feel things naturally, you become aware of your own thoughts, and you open doors to creativity and coping skills that are impossible to access if you are using drugs habitually. In other words, being straight is the real deal and the real deal is intense. Drugs only pretend to be intense.
So, why is our culture so attracted to drugs? The teen staff has some thoughts:
From Farren, 17: The main reasons people start using a drug is because they are pressured into it by their peers, or it is out of curiosity. After using a drug a couple of times it can become addicting, and that’s usually why those people are still using. Why don’t they try to stop? Because quitting something that is habitual and physically and mentally addicting is hard. There are also people who believe drugs make them feel better, perform better, or cope better.
From Geoff, 19: My guess is people don’t like being alone. Drugs and alcohol are an easy medium and it’s easy to rely on them to facilitate a relationship. I think people believe that if they do drugs or alcohol they won’t be alone. Especially in high school, a large percentage of teens are still trying to find a comfort level with themselves.
From Lennon, 19: Part of the appeal is the sense of recklessness that comes with doing something illegal. Apart from that, sitting around drinking, smoking, snorting, injecting yourself with a foreign substance so you can feel better about yourself is dumb, in my opinion. The best way is to learn to love yourself, to be comfortable with who you are. If you can do that, you can “enter” a drug-like state almost whenever you want to. I used to do it all the time and people would seriously ask me if I was drunk, or if I had smoked marijuana, and sometimes, if they could have a hit! That’s when I stopped attending many parties. I couldn’t stand to see so many people wanting to screw themselves up. It didn’t make sense to me.
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November 30th, 2005
Dear Straight Talk: The grandmother who wanted to know what to get her grandson for Christmas made me think of my own grandmother. Starting in my junior year, she began giving me things she knew I would need when I moved out of the house. One Christmas she gave me a set of towels, the next year, some beautiful sheets. At the time, I thought they were rather boring gifts, but I ended up using them until I was almost 30 years old and appreciated her every time I did.—Memories of Grandma
Dear Memories: There’s nothing like the wisdom of our elders. Just because most teens want gift cards doesn’t mean it’s the best choice. Personally, I’m leery of hi-tech gift cards because most kids will choose gadgets that let them tune out or reach out more than is healthy. I know kids are craving them, but whenever you give gifts to children, you need to take into account their maturity level and how much parental guidance they will receive.
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November 23rd, 2005
Dear Straight Talk: I’m at a loss as to what to get my grandson for Christmas. He’s 16 and I don’t know what kids his age want. His mom seems pretty stumped, too, and I thought maybe your teens would have some good ideas. What’s the latest cool stuff he might like?—Gramma B.
Dear Gramma B.: Today’s teens are savvy consumers and if they don’t like something, they won’t use it. Unless you’re absolutely sure of your grandson’s tastes and interests, get him a gift card. They’re impersonal, but better than cash, which has a way of evaporating on lunch or gas. One way to personalize a gift card is to include a small, practical gift along with it. It’s hard to go wrong with desk supplies: a stapler, tape dispenser, electric pencil sharpener, CD organizer. Useful items like these will still be “in fashion” when they go to college or get their own apartment.
Confidential to parents: An essential stocking stuffer is a box of thank-you cards. Even if your child has thanked the giver in person or email, instilling the habit of hand-writing a thank-you note will pay off throughout his or her life.
Now for the cool stuff:
From Farren, 17: The top-rated item most teens want is an iPod or iPod accessory. Another top gift is a digital camera. But gifts don’t need to be pricey. Just make sure they’re practical. For instance, a friend is really into drawing so I’m getting her some nice pens and paper. Even though she can easily go buy her own, I know she will make good use of them. The gift that will never let you down is a gift card or money.
From Geoff, 19: I suggest gift certificates to Best Buy or Circuit City where you can get all the techno-gadgets that are the rage. Amazon.com certificates are great, too, for more options. They have home items, books, music, games, technology, etc.
From Kyle, 14: Clothes are always what I need, but I have to pick my own. Gift certificates to Gap, Abercrombie, Old Navy,—even Target is fine. If you do pick something out, please include the gift receipt so I can exchange it if I need to. A cell phone or a cell phone upgrade is another good idea.
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