Straight Talk For Teens By Teens

O, Mr. Sandman, bring me a (different) dream…

Dear Straight Talk: I’m wondering how accurate dreams are regarding relationships. I really like this guy, “Trevor”, but my dreams about him are always kind of weird, like he says he’s going to meet me somewhere and then he doesn’t show, or he’s there and friendly to me, but he’s with another girl and it’s hard to tell if he’s with me or her. We are sort of dating and I’m wondering why I keep having these types of dreams about him. Are they accurate?—Dreaming of Trevor

Dear Dreaming: Only you know the answer. You say you are “sort of” dating. Does Trevor sometimes not show up? Is it sometimes unclear whether he’s interested in you or someone else? Dreams can be good indicators of waking life, in other words, they can sometimes be taken literally, but more often dreams are symbolic and have meanings that have nothing to do with the “story-line” presented. That’s why you need to look at your waking life to see if the dreams make sense. If the dreams don’t match waking life, then perhaps your own insecurities are coming into play. If they do match, your unconscious is probably trying to get you to wake up and smell the coffee—i.e. that Trevor is not that interested and may, in fact, be toying with you. If that’s the case, I recommend you break it off with him before you get hurt.

The teen staff weighs in:

From Brittney, 16: I find documenting my dreams very useful and when I piece them together I usually find that they relate to what is going on in my life. I don’t think you should disregard your dreams unless you know they are absolute nonsense—and these don’t sound like they are. You could always test things by saying, “Hey, I had the strangest dream about you!”

From Lennon, 18: I have a lot of dreams about my girlfriend and they’ve been quite accurate. Some seem to indicate parts of her personality that I struggle with and are harder to interpret, but others are quite basic. For instance, when we were first getting together, I dreamed that if I asked her out she would say ‘yes’. I woke up and asked her out and she said ‘yes’. Later we went through a rough spot and one night I dreamed over and over that she was going to break up with me. When I woke up and it actually happened, I felt like I had woken from a dream and landed in a nightmare.

Discuss this column »

Making-out should be equal opportunity

Dear Straight Talk: I have a gripe. At my high school, I get in trouble if I kiss my girlfriend in public, but the lesbians at my school can make-out all day and nobody says anything. They’ll make-out right by the office! What’s up with that? Isn’t that discrimination? I’m wondering if this is an issue at all schools or just mine.—Kissed-off

Dear Kissed-off: I have heard it’s an issue at other schools, too, and it’s because administrators are nervous about appearing anti-gay. Our culture’s disposition toward tolerance can make it difficult to speak up to minorities. Of course, there is nothing anti-gay about enforcing rules equally. What the gay population wants more than anything is to be treated the same. Next time you see it happening, go into the office and point out the discrepancy.

Or, follow Lennon’s advice:

From Lennon, 18: Stand next to them and make-out with your girlfriend.

Discuss this column »

Liberated but not inclined to make first moves

Dear Straight Talk: I am a 19-year-old woman and I’d like to respond to the comment about how women’s lib fits into the initiation of a relationship. I’m involved in a serious relationship with my boyfriend and if you knew me, you’d definitely call me liberated. Yet, I could never have instigated the relationship. I wanted the relationship, but in order to make sure he really loved me, I needed him to prove it to me by making the first moves. It was exactly as you said: something in me needed this proof. I consider myself just as important as a man, just as competent, but in this way, not as brave.—Liberated all the same

Dear Liberated: There is bravery in following your gut instincts especially when they conflict with popular trends. Men and women have different natures and inclinations and you were following yours. To think that men and women are equal is nonsense. When the day arrives that men and women have equal status—despite their differences—then we will see true human brilliance.

Discuss this column »