Archive for November, 2004
November 17th, 2004
Dear Straight Talk: I’m 14 and a vegetarian and I find it very difficult to get people to respect that I don’t eat meat. Everywhere I go it seems that meat is being served. How do I handle this?—Disgusted vegetarian
Dear Disgusted: Cool as a cucumber. In other words, no fair trampling on the Thanksgiving turkey. Two teens who share your situation say it best:
From Brittney, 16: I, too, am a vegetarian and dealing with carnivores can sometimes be a pain. When people give you a hard time, I recommend ignoring it. As far as going places and having to deal with meat everywhere, you have to understand that it’s other peoples’ choice to eat meat. The best way to get someone to accept that you’re a vegetarian is by accepting that they eat meat.
From Ashley, 16: I’m a vegetarian, too, and it can be difficult for me to not make comments about meat because I’ve done a lot of research on the meat industry and slaughterhouses and it’s hard for me to accept people who support things like that. But, eventually I realized that I needed to respect their opinions as much as they needed to respect mine. Now when somebody bugs me, I say, “I’m not antagonizing you for your beliefs, don’t antagonize me for mine.”
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November 17th, 2004
Dear Straight Talk: I don’t know what to do about my friend “Tasha.” Her mother died about 8 months ago. We’re both 16 and used to be good friends but now she’s so different. I feel bad that we’re not friends anymore but I don’t know what to say to snap her out of it. Any suggestions?—Want my friend back
Dear Want my Friend Back: The mother/child bond is so strong that when a mother dies prematurely, often a piece of the child dies with her. It can take time and healing to be fully present again. That’s where you come in. Friends play a huge part in the healing process and even if Tasha seems to be rejecting you, she needs you more than ever. I suggest you first send Tasha a card and let her know you’re there for her. Follow this up with a phone call inviting her to do something with you. If she refuses, keep gently inviting her to different things and eventually she’ll trust that you’re in her life to stay. Keep reading for more insight from Amy:
From Amy, 17: My mother died when I was 15. In my case, even though I couldn’t bring up the subject or even really talk about my mother’s death, I wanted my friends around me. Some of my friends were able to broach the subject and some weren’t, it just depended on their personalities. And it didn’t matter; I just wanted them around. One of my friends drifted off. He didn’t know how to be around me. It’s sad, but, at the time, I was the one who needed help and I couldn’t possibly figure out how to help him. Hearing something as simple as, “Is everything okay for you? If you want to talk about it, I’m right here,” did wonders for me. As did cards and letters from friends who were too shy to say anything. Lots of flowers and letters arrived for the family expressing condolences, but the ones were that were addressed specifically to me were unbelievably comforting. The two-month point was the worst. The flurry of friends and relatives dropped off all at once and I felt pretty alone for awhile. I’m grateful for the friends who hung in there with me.
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November 3rd, 2004
Dear Straight Talk: Please help me because I don’t know who to talk about this. I was visiting my cousins in L.A. and we went to a restaurant and I saw my best friend’s dad there holding hands with a woman who is not his wife. I am sure it was him, because we made eye contact—and he let go of the woman’s hands at the same time. After that, we went to our table and I didn’t see them again. I told my relatives and we got into a big argument over what the best course of action should be. What do you think I should do? Shouldn’t I tell my friend that her dad is cheating?—Saw it with my own eyes
Dear Saw it: Saw what with your own eyes? Men and women hold hands for many reasons. How do you know this wasn’t his sister, his cousin, a treasured friend, a bereaved aunt? And how do you know with certainty that it was your friend’s dad? Many people look alike, especially in diffused lighting. Even if your perceptions are correct, it is none of your business. Drop it.
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