Archive for July, 2004
July 21st, 2004
Dear Straight Talk: My daughter is 16 and has had the same boyfriend for two years. They are both good kids and real responsible. I happen to be a realistic parent and considering how in love they are, I couldn’t imagine they weren’t having sex. So, I showed my daughter how to use birth control so she wouldn’t get pregnant. At that point she admitted they were having sex. The problem is her dad. We are divorced and he would have a cow if he realized she was having sex. I’m afraid he might try and remove my custody rights if he finds out I collaborated with her on this.—Protecting my daughter
Dear Protecting: Congratulations on your hunch and your desire to make your daughter’s life successful. I recommend placing a call to a family law attorney regarding your worries about custody. I also recommend the book: What’s Happening to My Body by Lynda Madaras. There are two books, one for girls and another for boys. Here you and your daughter will get full information on birth control and STDs. Read on for input from one of our teens:
From Brittney, 16: If I were you I wouldn’t worry too much about your ex-husband. Legally, your daughter is old enough to decide which parent she wants to live with. Also, if your daughter really wanted to be on birth control she could get it herself at a clinic or from her physician without either parent’s permission.
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July 21st, 2004
Dear Straight Talk: A few of my friends are very heavily into smoking pot and it’s getting worse. No matter how much I talk to them and warn them of all the harm they’re creating they just don’t listen and I’m really worried. What can I do?—Concerned friend
Dear Concerned: Drugs are like a cloak thrown over the user’s true nature, stamping it with the drug’s personality—which in the case of pot is paranoia, social withdrawal, and muddled thinking (posing as profound thought). In addition, marijuana is an illegal drug that could result in a criminal record. If a friend is using pot, by all means tell a caring adult.
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July 14th, 2004
Dear Straight Talk: I’m a 13-year-old boy and I live with my dad. My stepmother died last year of cancer. When she was dying she told me that I was adopted, that my dad had adopted me with his first wife who left us when I was still a baby. She said she wanted to clear everything up before she passed on so I would know. Now, I don’t know what to do about it. My dad is really stressed out from her death and I don’t know if I should bother him with this.—Adopted and didn’t know it
Dear Adopted: My condolences on the loss of your stepmother. What she said to you was a shock and she obviously did this out of love for you thinking that perhaps she was your only link to this knowledge other than your adoptive father, who has not been forthcoming with you over the years. It is common for adopted children to shy away from being a “bother”, but I encourage you to find that calm, courageous spot within yourself and go to him with what you know. Perhaps there are other relatives you can contact also. Tough as it is, the cat is out of the bag and you have to deal with it. Not dealing with it will take a much greater toll on you in the long run.
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