Straight Talk For Teens By Teens

Being a mother seems like a hard job, and if all you talk about is what you want, I can see how she could take offense. Is it possible that she holds everything in at work, then vents at home? Or does she have too much to do? Try asking how her day went. If she snaps, don’t take offense, just ask again the next day. Cleaning the house may seem stupid to you, but it would probably brighten her day, and doing it before she asks will really help things. For the moment, put your needs aside and attend to hers. In the end, you and your mom will have a better relationship.

When my step-mom moved in, the situation was a lot like yours. She always seemed angry or disappointed in me and I got in trouble for the small things as well. I eventually started writing notes to her, that way I could talk without her anger and stress interfering. Eventually we grew fairly close and now we are very honest with each other and can talk about almost anything.

Tell her exactly what you said in this letter — or better, write her. Writing will help you get more of your own feelings out, and because she can’t interrupt you, it can soak in. Writing was very effective for me when I needed to talk to my parents during difficult times.

My dad is like this with me and I’m glad I don’t live with him full-time. He is deaf to my needs and feelings. It’s “his way” or the “highway.” I once wrote him a letter, on the advice of my mother, and he just laughed while he read it. I don’t have advice other than to find someone else you can talk to, and find a healthy way to vent your frustrations.

I have a friend who started just like this. Two years later, she’s popping pills and taking ecstasy. By all means, tell the parents.

You tell their parents, trust me, your friends will hate you. Last year I was a freshman and I didn’t think my friends were doing anything, and then one day I discovered differently. They didn’t pressure me, but because I opened my big mouth and got mad at them, I lost a bunch of those friends. Months later, I apologized and accepted their behavior. Now, a year later, over half of them have stopped. Be there for your friends — just don’t let yourself be pressured into joining them. Most likely they will grow out of it.

Unfortunately, drinking and smoking weed is like a “rite of passage” and there’s not much you can do. I keep a relatively straight path by thinking of where I want to be down the road and making my decisions based on those goals. If you present your opinion in this “big picture” kind of way, you’ll have more luck.

Because they’re not close friends, they probably won’t listen to you, but it’s worth a try. On the other hand, be careful not to let their problems become yours. Kids this age are striving to look mature, however, it’s the kids who choose to not pollute their bodies who are the mature ones.

I would be most worried about the drinking. Many of my peers are now dealing with alcoholism from their years in college. Imagine if you started drinking at 14! You will be doing society a huge favor by telling — or leaving an anonymous note — with their parents or a school counselor. I’m not against teenagers being curious and experimenting, but 14 is too young! Focus Adolescent Services says that teens who start drinking before age 15 are five times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than those who start at 21, and that alcohol is a leading factor in the top three causes of death for 15- to 24-year-olds, which are automobile crashes, homicides and suicides. They go on to say that lack of parental support, monitoring, and communication are significantly related to the drinking habits of adolescents, and that harsh, inconsistent discipline, and hostility or rejection toward children also significantly predict adolescent drinking and alcohol-related problems.

Tell your son that a senior in my high school just died while texting. Her mom texted her and when she texted back she ran off the road and was killed. Another senior ran a stop sign while texting and killed an elderly man.

Get him a Bluetooth. These wireless, hands-free, ear pieces will be hard for police to see. It’s MUCH safer than texting.

I start driving in December. I probably will text at red lights and possibly use a voice-activated phone. A voice-activated, hands-free device should be allowed for everyone, no matter the age.

It is no more dangerous to hold a cell phone to your ear than to eat while you drive. This law will only cause people, especially teens, to find sneakier (and more hazardous) ways to use their phones.

I don’t plan to abide by the new law. Convince your son to talk instead of text, it’s much safer.

People do stupid things while on their cell phones, so I think it’s a good law. I almost never text while driving and I have a Bluetooth — but getting it set up while driving can be dangerous, too.

Being a responsible driver means following the law which I will do. Tell your son how you feel, but don’t force anything or he will just lie to you. Don’t get mad at him for telling the truth or he won’t be honest again.

When I first started driving, I looked down to push in a CD and drove into oncoming traffic. Since then, I have respect for distractions. I don’t text unless I’m stopped. When I’m moving, I use Bluetooth and speed dial. If you must text, a free, super-easy, voice-activated service called Jott converts voice into text. The website is www.jott.com. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a mistake to wake someone up.